It sucks. I hate what she does to me, I feel like shit, and it’s all because of her.
But I love her. She is the most perfect girl on Earth. However, she has a boyfriend. Fuck that asshole.
Normally, because of that I wouldn’t even consider going after her. She’s taken! But she teases me everyday, touching me, she’s all over me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I just want to be with her. And it destroys me whenever I see her and her boyfriend, knowing they’ve had sex and done countless things. She knows it’s hurting me and that I’m obsessed with her, and she LOVES it.
Can anyone help me move on from her? I’ve become too attached and addicted to her affection, some days she’s all over me and I’m on top of the world, and days she doesn’t show me much affection, it makes me depressed and feel like shit.
This is just another addition to my list of problems. My drug addiction, shitty home life, I’m bipolar, suicidal, and this girl who I fucking hate and love doesn’t make things better. Her touch is like my drugs, I feel great, then shit afterwards and I need more.
If anyone has advice, PLEASE offer it. I need help, please.
14 comments
I’m sorry, There are other girls, why waste your time with her?
You need to find a new girl that appreciates you.
Listen bro, there is ton of girls in the world, so when someone dump you why stay with her ?
You’d better forget about her and find a girl that appreciate you and be loyal
She’s far from perfect if she has a boyfriend (who isn’t the bad guy here) and decides to flirt and hang all over you. Just an attention seeker who as you noted gets her kicks off leading you on.
Don’t let her touch you anymore, tell her to stay away and don’t talk to her again. Affection is something that a lot of us need, you get that feeling from her touch because of that oxytocin and then withdraw from it.
It’s easier when you’re not getting it at all than from an inconsistent source, the roller coaster will kill you.
And besides, even if she did dump her guy to be with you, she’d be acting like this with someone else all the while, gives her a sense of power. Not worth anything.
Thank you, that’s the harsh reality that someone needed to tell me. I always knew it on the inside, but I didn’t want to believe it. But I need to accept it.
I don’t think that in the long run, any meaningful relationship is possible without honesty.
It sounds to me like you’re letting her toy with you because you’re so smitten with her, and you don’t want to upset her, because you fear that you would lose her.
But your feelings, that you express here, show a frustration, and a clear understanding of what is going on.
I wonder whether you have communicated your actual feelings to her?
I am not suggesting you make a big scene and blow up whatever “relationship” you have with her.
I just think it would benefit you to be more honest with her.
I think she is toying with you because it is nice to have admirers, it strokes the ego. She has a boyfriend, but it’s always nice with a backup.
I think your submissive acceptance of the way she treats you means she a) sees you as dishonest and inferior, and b) feels less bad about carrying on her behavior.
I think probably the best thing for you to do is to resolve to consider what is in YOUR best interest and to work to achieve it.
I have occasionally had female admirers where the attraction wasn’t mutual. They were often overly nice to me, despite me being pretty neutral towards them. And strangely, that didn’t make me like them. It just made me feel that they were sucking up to me, because they were attracted to me.
It was only when, in some cases, they tired of me, and put me on ice, that I actually gained some respect for them and started to consider whether I might have missed out on something.
I think maybe you need that honesty, and you need that dignity. It’s about doing what serves you best instead of letting her lead you around by the tail.
As an addendum, maybe you shoud watch some David Attenborough documentaries. We aren’t as evolved as we like to think. In the wild, males compete for a female’s affection. The same is true in humans.
Instead of accepting the role as third wheel, maybe you should try to wrestle the wheel from her boyfriend and put yourself in the driver’s seat, if you understand my metaphor. Maybe that is kind of what she is inviting you to try. She wants you to compete for her.
Thank you for your insight, you pretty much nailed exactly how I feel. I have not communicated how I feel about her verbally, so thank you for this because now I’m seriously considering it. I’ve gotten new perspective because of this.
A pleasure. I should caution you, though, that in my limited experience, grand declarations of love are seldom effective. With women, actions speak louder than words. I only meant that maybe you should not just suck it up when she frustrates you, but be more honest in how you communicate with her.
Idk, people know what they want. If she’s treating you like a third wheel, then that’s probably where she’ll keep you.
People are different, though. A few years ago I felt the same way about a girl who was already taken, she would push and push the boundary, and I felt like she didn’t even like me like that, but no, her red face and smiles were endless, and she ended up kissing me in the middle of a conversation,,, with a gf …?! It never went anywhere after that, but she’d show up at my house like we were friends or something, brought her gf, like ..?
Some girls just love the attention that much, and push for it until it happens. Or maybe you’re being used to make someone jealous, sounds like a messy complicated thing on your end.
She’s a cop now, different girlfriend, still sending me friend requests…. !?
Yea, girls are so confusing and conflicted. One day she calls me her friend and is bewildered at the thought of becoming my girlfriend, and the next day she doesn’t want me to talk to any other girl but her.
Same here!!! I’m not sure how close you and this girl is, but the girl I knew, We met and started a friendly conversation about her theater performance and teachers etc, I had my bestie Travis with me, and she kept asking if he was my boyfriend, even after I said no.. lol then she gave me her number and we’d talk for a while about nothing in particular.. when we hung out in person she’d smile and get red in the face about everything I said, it felt like anyway. She would get angry for no reason, too, like she wanted my attention but I was too aloof or something, like she was really back and forth cold/hot around me, and I had no idea she had feelings for me, and she kissed me on our walk in the woods… Not going to lie, I kissed her back. I couldn’t help it. She was so breathtaking and smart, and it was a surprise to me because I thought she hated me honestly. Around her girlfriend, at first, completely cold. I didn’t ask her to date me, I felt like that’s where it stayed and intended to be. Idk, if you’re unsure, and I don’t support cheating, (I was young and stupid back then), kiss her. See how she acts. She isn’t kissing you, but touches you and if you’re unsure, try it. You’ll get that closure, at least, but don’t be a D* about it lol
Little sodom-south Savanna kept me in her heart and still reaches out, but it’s something in her that gratifies needs that I won’t ever understand. She still tries reaching out to me. To be honest, you deserve better. you felt more than I did with this one- than with my first kiss lol not fair to you at all