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by morieris

I’ve been here since then. Reading your life. Yes. You people. But I think it’s my turn.

We’re here because we’re all sad. Reality.

Here’s a start. I’m diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder. For years now. I discovered this website while I was searching for ways how to die or commit suicide then there it is. Pooof. I was not alone. In fact some are worse than my thoughts. But hell, we all have our own kinds of worst. Still I’ve done things I do not regret and wished it succeeded.

I’m sad. Always been sad. You already know guys how it feels. To be depressed. It just sucks and unfair. But it’s the only thing that makes my life colorful. I think without my depression my life would be nothing. I don’t know. I just love my depression now. It feels like it’s not me if I wouldn’t be depressed. But fuck it, it kills me everyday and makes me wanna die but I don’t want it to leave but I want the pain to stop. I don’t know. Am I too fucked up?

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3 comments

J Doe 3/14/2020 - 8:33 pm

Nah. There’s some sort of rational logic I can see in your explanation. That feeling of familiarity. I can see it. Post more. But not too much. This is a place to regulate I would say. Not necessarily feel better.

evianwatre 3/14/2020 - 10:57 pm

i get you, if emotions has colors then what i feel without depression is just plain white, but feeling terrible kind of helps to change the white nothingness up, almost like painting on a canvas, even though the colors are ugly as fuck at least there’s something visible there

rivets 3/24/2020 - 5:43 pm

We’re all pretty fucked up. I think if you’re human and you’re not fucked up, then you’re actually more fucked up than the rest of us. Normal humans are a mythological beast, like zombie Jesus or honest politicians. There’s just us messed up primates wearing clothes and acting like not-primates for some reason. That’s the most screwed up thing I can imagine – animals that think they’re not animals. How weird is that?

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