pros of living vs ending

Living:

– can read more fanfic
– pay back the woman who’s been housing me during the pandemic
– play animal crossing
– post fanart online and read the comments
– make the animatic
– jack off
– eat meat
– still have the chance to get thinner
– listen to my partner’s plans for their au
– attend conventions again, someday
– sing along to music, loud+alone

Dying:

– I won’t be cognizant of anyone perceiving me
– I will not have to figure out how pay anyone back
– never have to interact with my parents again
– not stuck in this fucking body anymore
– won’t ever have to be verbal
– no more food worries
– stop stringing along th ppl who care and forcing them to witness my lack of functionality. they can deal with my death+move on instead of constantly thinking I’ll get better and being proven wrong every day.
– will never have to do dishes again
– not have to feel the guilt of sleeping anymore
– not have to be awake anymore and experience input all the fucking time
– no more sensory overloads or meltdowns
– can eat raw bits of me b4 the end without having to worry abt overdoing it
– won’t have to worry about jobs+money