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things he said

by system

his name is censored and the lines have been recolored for safety reasons.  i’m a minor.  please don’t sexualize any of this.  please.  this is vent art that I made during the time I was being abused.  everything written was taken straight from voice memos, emails, and messages.

 

edit: how many times do i have to reiterate that this wasn’t a relationship.  leave me alone.  please.

21 comments
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21 comments

system 3/9/2021 - 11:34 pm

im going to reiterate this again
if anyone makes even a remotely sexual comment i am going to lose my shit.

dark context for the “smile, please :(”
that was his response to seeing a video of me crying and begging him to make the pain stop while I cut my face open with a razor as a way to prove I “deserve[d] a second chance”, which, may I add, is something he fucking forced me to do.

heartlessviking 3/10/2021 - 12:15 am

I’m shaking, because some of these things are the sort I’ve heard from friends dealing with abusive spouses. The one common theme is always coercion, and it seems like that theme might be here? I wish we could rehabilitate such people, but society has yet to develop tools that are particularly effective….. I used to teach empathy to horrible teenagers and a major component of it was shame…. but to have shame you have to have pride, and I can’t see someone with such a dismissive attitude towards others having pride enough to feel shame.

system 3/10/2021 - 12:33 am

he’s a psychopath. there’s no cure to psychopathy, but there’s ways to teach them to function normally… it’s rare though

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 12:38 am

I’ve heard some of the same things from my husband….. I can’t tell if it’s my own fault or not though

Hugs

system 3/10/2021 - 12:40 am

my god. big, bright, waving red flag is what that is. get out of there. WAYYY easier said than done, trust me, if anyone knows the truth of that, it’s me. or please find support if available

it’s not your fault. I promise.

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 2:43 am

That’s kind of the thing though…. I don’t say anything. In fact I kind of encourage it…

system 3/10/2021 - 11:54 am

That still doesn’t make it your fault. He has the ability to not be abusive, yet he still says these things to you.
Here’s a quote that essentially explains why:

“I was addicted to a high that only my abuser could give me. Because the lower an abuser puts someone, the higher they can elevate them.” – Amanda Domuracki, Culture Shock, The Highs and Lows of Emotional Abuse

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 12:19 pm

cant blame a guy that seriously doesnt know. besides i have certain disorders that probably agitate it and make it worse then it is. i definitely cant blame him on that.

this is a more of a “work it out in therapy” problem

blue_dude15 3/10/2021 - 12:56 am

That sounds horrible, I`m really sorry you had to go through that. It sounds like a nightmare

system 3/10/2021 - 1:16 am

thank you for this. there’s something honestly so comforting in seeing the empathy people have for the situation, like, acknowledging that it’s absolutely fucked. I guess I glorify the concept of people understanding that what happened was horrifying because of my self-blame.

blue_dude15 3/10/2021 - 1:21 am

Its okay, I also feel like I glorify people understanding stuff so I can relate to that. I can’t change anything by saying this but it’s not your fault at all, that dude was a fucking psycho

system 3/10/2021 - 1:27 am

spot on. quite literally a psychopath, fun isn’t it?

blue_dude15 3/10/2021 - 1:31 am

oh, sooo fun

sad_noises 3/10/2021 - 1:53 am

this really hits..
hard..

Mf 3/10/2021 - 4:55 am

Can’t say much more than what everyone has already said (i wouldn’t wish that situation for anybody), but i wanted to point out that even if it’s not in the best context i really like your sketch (from a completely artistic point of view, not endorsing what caused it), it really captures what (i think) you were going for.

system 3/10/2021 - 11:52 am

thank you, I really appreciate it c:

spreject 3/10/2021 - 5:08 pm

I used to feel sorry for women in relationships like this.

Then I discovered how many dating options the average woman has and how women actively choose to date jerks over other guys.

Whatever floats your boat, I guess.

thedevilisclose 3/10/2021 - 6:15 pm

not every women choses to be in a relationship like that and for the most part if not all cases probably chose a guy like that because they believe thats as good as they can do.

also how many dating options the average women has? yeah if she wants to fuck whoever. its really sad the lack of respect this world has.

system 3/10/2021 - 7:26 pm

please leave me alone itwasnt my fault it wasn’t it wasn’t it wasn’t

system 3/10/2021 - 8:03 pm

whywould you saythat what makes you think that was an appropriate thingtosay
imnot even an adult
nnone of what he ddi d to me was my fault

spreject 3/11/2021 - 12:59 pm

Sorry. I made assumptions based on past posts I have seen on this site with women in abusive relationships, as well as my direct experiences with women.

But since you’re apparently a minor and a victim of an abuser rather than voluntarily in a relationship with one, I apologise.

Good luck getting better.

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