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by fuzzy-blanket

For the last eight years, I have been acutely aware that my health is failing, but I have been too afraid to go to the doctor. I’ve tried to live my life as normally as I could but when the symptoms pop up, I always tell myself it’s one thing or another. I know what it is but I cannot/will not tell a single soul. Everyone would judge, and I do not trust anyone at all. The sad thing is, it’s entirely treatable. I just do not have the courage to get it looked at by a professional because the weight of a diagnosis would be too much to bear. So I push it all into the back of my head and pretend it doesn’t exist. Right now, I think it’s all coming to a head and I just can’t take it. While the stress is making it all feel worse, part of me is a little bit comforted by the confidence that this could all be over soon. I hate even saying that. I want to live, but I want to live a normal life. Anything less than that, to be honest, is just not worth it to me.

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blue_dude15 3/8/2021 - 10:43 pm

Ah, I can relate :\
The thing is though, it stressed me out more not telling anyone. I decided to go to the doctor, it just wasn`t worth it to stress about it.
Sorry for being curious, you don`t have to answer, but is it a serious condition? If not, you probably won`t have to tell anyone, though this is just me assuming things.
I do highly recommend going to the doctor. If the condition is serious enough to kill you, it won`t be a very comfortable death.
I hope you decide to go to the doctor’s

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