Does anyone else wonder what it must be like to be normal? I thought I was normal once, turns out I was wrong, now I’m curious how that must feel. Plans, goals, friends, family, are things just that much easier when you aren’t fucked up?
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I wonder too. They the normal or ” normies” i learnt that expression here and am now a big fan, they genuinely dont know what suicide is, they see the world differently, theyre not stronger than the suicidal, theyre brains are just wired differently. That said if enough things went wrong for them they’d be the first to jump off a bridge, with the suicidal its not gonna be one event that triggers ending it all, it will be the culmination of years of suicidal thoughts and then one day you throw in the towel.
The straw that breaks the camels back.
Maybe, but maybe they process it differently, they must because sometimes I don’t see why the hell I’m so depressed.
I suppose we were all normal once. I don’t think anyone was born suicidal, it’s something we learn over time. Yes I do remember what it was like to be normal even though it has been decades. That’s the one thought that keeps me trying to get back to that place. As with anything, if you did something once before then in theory you should be able to do it again. But it would take erasing a lot of memories first.
while one might not be born suicidal, they can be born with the disorders that could lead them to be suicidal, so they wouldnt ever have had the chance to be normal.
as for OP, keeping in mind this is in comparison to me, after observing a lot of people they dont seem to be as conscious about things. when youre not thinking about things its probably a lot easier to not notice them hence not worry about them.
id like to stop thinking about things. like, not stop thinking about them but have them more as a subconscious thought rather then a conscious one.
No, I guess at some point most people were normal, when I thought I was a normie I guess I really wasn’t so I don’t remember the time when I was. Disorders definitely set you up for failure in that regard though.
Yes our disordered thinking was always there. Like maybe morbid obsession with dying long before you thought of killing yourself. My question is can we force ourselves to do things the way we did when we were relatively normal? I don’t know but it’s my last hope. To mechanically repeat my habits from back then, whether it’s talking to people (which I never do in person) or even re-visiting a place that’s triggering but used to be ok. That’s our only hope. Because once we fully embrace our screwed up identity, once we become comfortable with being non-normie, we’re screwed and there’s only one outcome.
It’s really just a matter of when. How long can a screwed up person hang on to a modicum of normality.
Id def like to be normal because im exhausted from battling this internal war ive had in me for over 30yrs. Itd be nice to know what “peace” feels like