Well, it is Sunday and things suck. I know I came here to get a pause on my plan to disappear. Well I have that and have been very honest with the staff here with my feelings, plan and all that is going on.. I was hoping that that would give me some sort of hope so I can extend that pause or better yet turn it off completely.
Well, it hasnt. I am now in a closely monitored room along with having my CPAP machine for sleeping confiscated. I know the staff are doing their jobs so I will not vent anger towards them.
I would like some help defining the timeline of my depression and it’s cycles. Having had it since I was 10 or 11 and I am now 59 Imore and more wonder if I am now in a terminal phase of it. If so what kind of care can I get. In some countries there is end of life options for certain terminal diseases. Could I include my depression? I would welcome that.
Unless some miracle treatment finds me I am now thinking more and more that my best option when I am finally able to go home is to revert to my original plan. I want to leave some sort of memoriaization to my family, not to outline my reasons but to extend my hopes and wishes for them. Now I have some thinking to do..
As always I welcome feedback, Pro, Con rebuff,etc. Please do not ask for details of my plan as I will not share those.. All others who feel the same way as me should do their homework and take their time to really think it through.