i might be called selfish or vain for what i’m going to say but quite frankly i don’t give a shit because i know neither of those things are true. i hate my body. not because i’m ugly but because i’m “conventionally attractive” or some shit. contrary to what it sounds like, my head isn’t up my own ass and I’m basing this off of what i’ve been told about how i look (for most of my conscious life). i’m really tiny, i have an hourglass body shape, i’m “fit”, my skin is clear, and i have good facial features (god it’s so hard to write this without sounding like a self absorbed piece of shit). and you know what? i fucking hate it. HATE it. i wish i was invisible. i wish i could wear what i wanted without being sexualized and without terrifying old men looking at me. my size makes me vulnerable. i’m under 5ft by a reasonable amount. i’m an easy target. i want to be ambiguous. i want nobody to know that i’m there. people ONLY CARE ABOUT MY BODY. it’s almost as if i’ve been stripped of my right to be called human and i’m nothing more than an object. a puppet. a toy. i’m so tired of being dragged around and toyed with. i’m so tired of being used.
will i ever be human again