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The Jokes Keep Coming

by J Doe

Yesterday I learned how difficult the next few weeks were going to be. Next next week I have three final projects due and an exam. The following week I have 3 exams and 1 final project due. And of course in between now and then I have smaller regular assignments due. It’s typical, but that’s just it. I just have to keep chipping away at it, at least that’s what I keep telling myself. And then the joke was set up. I was emailed about a co-op opportunity from one of the many companies I applied to and got rejected by. Some lady representative emailed me about this 5 month opportunity and to give her my resume. I was so excited. I saw the email and I said out loud to myself in my empty apartment “I’m not a failure.”. I of course immediately replied and told her I’d be happy to apply and started asking her questions. She replied quickly and answered all of my questions and I took that as a great sign that this could really happen. Of course I was an idiot. I asked her another question today after I didn’t get a reply for something innocuous, and she told me she didn’t know, but after looking at my resume that I might not be a great fit for the company. There’s the punchline. There it is. It was less than a day before the sadness and disappointment set in. I get that she wasn’t offering the job at the beginning and that she was looking around for candidates. I get it. I get that I was definitely not the only one she emailed. I get that there are more qualified people. I get that. But this joke that the universe likes playing on me still hurts. I’m just very tired. I was suppose to work all day on all the stuff that I have due, but I just wanted to sleep. There’s still a few hours in the day left, so I just have to drag myself out and keep chipping away at it. It’s rather tiring. I think one of the saddest aspects about all this is how I immediately called my parents and told them about it and how I had a good feeling about it. How I should start planning to find an apartment at Arlington and what I should do about school and all that. I haven’t told them that I probably won’t get it, I’m just too tired. My stomach has been hurting for the past few days. I’ve been eating like shit and I stopped jogging a while ago. I just haven’t had time (more like too tired to). All these jokes being played on me have got me worn down. I don’t really think I can keep smiling through them all. At least I still have a job lined up for the summer. And I’ll be back home so I could try seeing her (to probably no success). I won’t have to put college on hold and graduate later than I am supposed to, changing my degree plan and all that. And finally I know now for sure that where I stand.

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heartlessviking 4/16/2021 - 10:30 pm

Late stage burnout, you’ve got to remediate if you want to keep moving forward, which given your passion I assume is your prime desire. Now look; there will be plenty of time for feeling bad for yourself and mourning the lost job. That’s still important, now is not the time though. I need you to box that up, imagine putting all those thoughts in a box, put the box on a shelf.

Right; crisis management is to satisfy physical needs while also attempting to satisfy the psychological. Go take a bath or shower, whichever relaxes you more. Wash your hair, swish some mouthwash. Now you need to eat. Find something simple that you can force yourself to eat; my personal goto are baked potatoes, the sour cream really calms my stirring stomach. Good.

Is the sun up? Go work on your project for an hour. Set a timer. That timer goes off an hour on; do something you enjoy for 15 to 20 minutes, again time it. Work for an hour, take a break, do it over and over again. This time of year the sun is going down right around when you should start settling down for the night. Eat something, watch something that makes you laugh (or cry, but no horror!) Take some kind of sleep aid (melatonin or benadryl being the low impact over the counter approach) Get a good alarm, get up with the dawn and start again.

I know that’s intense, so scale to your ability to work. It got me through my last two years of university. It got me through a seven month long awful job hunt. It’s gotten me through the past six months at my first post college job. I’m a workaholic, and I see some parallels with my story in yours. You need to nurture well being. When you do that you will be at your most adaptable and therefore more attractive to others, which unfortunately manages to still control many things.

I’m sorry it’s been rough, but if a jerk like me can pull through, I figure a guy like you? easy.

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