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A lifetime

by rywa

I tried to commit suicide when I was 20. I’ve lived a lifetime since then.

My suicide attempt cost me the only friend I ever had. I started seeing doctors and therapists then, hoping that if I could fix myself I’d get my friend back. I write to her every year. 18 years now. And I never hear back. Still I keep trying even though I know it will never happen.

The question I have the hardest time answering for myself is why didn’t I try again? I don’t have an answer I suppose. Some sort of belief that maybe if all the stars align I might make a friend again one day. The logical part of me doesn’t believe that of course. After failing so many times it is near impossible to believe. Oh well.

I’m sorry Em.

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Virus.Found 5/16/2021 - 10:41 pm

Uhm, I’m sorry but that has never been a true friend in the first place… Who leaves, when you go through the most horrifying situation in your life.? And even after overcoming it, she wanted nothing to do with you.? That’s rude. My heart wouldn’t be able to take it, I’m really sorry.. Finding new friends is difficult

rywa 5/17/2021 - 1:42 pm

She was an amazing friend and I would ask you not judge her based on just what I have written here.

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