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Figure I should be the one to ask, I feel people disregard me around here anyway so I’m not afraid to break the silence. I’m sure we’ve all noticed he’s gone, what happened? Just a shout out @Once


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system 5/1/2021 - 11:43 pm

Thanks for being the one to post… I was going to but I was having a hard time trying to write it out. I hope he’s not gone.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/2/2021 - 12:20 am

If he is, that’s the way it is.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/2/2021 - 12:23 am

I been meaning to talk to you btw, you seem useful to put it bluntly.

I didn’t know antidepressants affected people with personality disorders differently. Where did you find this information?

system 5/2/2021 - 4:05 am

I know a lot about meds and whatnot because I’ve had a ton of experience with them. Not only that, but I do a lot of psychiatry-based research in my free-time (I find it interesting). I’ve also been seeing psychiatrists since I was 8, my mum is a board certified psychologist, and I plan to work in neuropsychology.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/2/2021 - 7:41 am

Nice. Any specific source for this particular knowledge?

system 5/2/2021 - 1:31 pm

Here’s an example of a source (since I can’t cite conversations with my psychiatrist lol)

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/2/2021 - 7:40 pm

Do you use Discord or anything? I’m not good at sharing my stuff in this format sooo I usually just ditch all my posts before I even complete them.

system 5/2/2021 - 8:54 pm

I don’t use any social media for safety reasons.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/2/2021 - 10:03 pm


system 5/3/2021 - 12:29 am

I’m out of the loop lmao, I’m not familiar with that acronym?

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/3/2021 - 2:26 am

Yeah, it means Just Fucking LOL.

You’re about as green as a newborn lamb, huh. You gotta learn to operate on some guile, honey. Someone like you may as well have a target painted on your forehead. I hope you don’t take offense to that but I’m just being honest. You’re really afraid to use Discord? You’re a patsy if I’ve ever seen one. I don’t even feel comfortable writing this comment but I have nothing else to say. That’s simply the truth.

system 5/3/2021 - 3:08 am

…safety reasons as in the fucking FBI has instructed me to shut down all social media to prevent my violent abuser from tracking me and contacting me further.

would’ve been nice if you asked why first.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/3/2021 - 4:04 am

Your email address is literally visible in the comments dashboard, just so you know. And beyond that, Discord isn’t social media. It’s just an anonymous chatting site. Not much different from this one.

system 5/3/2021 - 4:18 am

a) I’m well aware of that. I’m not concerned about that here, and I’m going to swap it out soon.

b) I have experienced horrifying blackmail on Discord before. The people involved are under investigation by fucking homeland security, so don’t even bother trying to tell me “that isn’t that bad”. I have been made to do things against my will in order to protect myself and loved ones. I also associate discord with a lot of disgusting things that happened to me when I was younger. I was groomed on there. I really don’t appreciate you assuming that I’m some sort of weakling because I don’t want to use certain applications.

If you’re going to interact with me further, I would really prefer if it was in a respectful manner. Thanks.

blue_dude15 5/2/2021 - 1:21 am

I’m also grateful you wrote this, I too was wondering whether or not I should post about it. I hope he’s ok

TheOpenRoad 5/2/2021 - 2:20 am

Yeah I was wondering about him too. Hope he’s ok.

Once 5/2/2021 - 3:21 pm

…I am still here. Im very touched at this post. It sort of took me by surprise. Thank you for your concern. I dont visit the site as much lately, the past 6 weeks has been extremely difficult. The world is so different after you put your affairs in order and sit for thirteen hours with a loaded gun and fail to follow through. Thank you guys, Idfk, System,Blue_dude, The Open Road for thinking about me. I haven’t felt like posting and am facing legal troubles now as a result of the police being involved in my failed attempt. I appreciate your concern….if I can muster some strength I’ll try to post later on with some details, but for now, life is an hour by hour burden. I wish I had pulled the trigger…I had the opportunity to do it, but it just didn’t happen. For whatever reason. I hope you all are doing as well as can be expected.

Abnormal.Thoughts 5/2/2021 - 4:33 pm

I’m glad you are alive. I believe you can get through this. You are a very thoughtful and organized person based on what I can tell. Just keep trudging on until the mud clears I guess.

system 5/2/2021 - 7:00 pm

!!! holy shit I’m so relieved!! I’m glad you’re alive. It’s very hard to re-adjust after an attempt *that* organized. It’s a traumatic experience similar to ego-death. It’s difficult to get back into a “normal” routine after literally being on death’s doorstep, arguing internally whether you should knock on the door or not.
I wish you the best.

blue_dude15 5/2/2021 - 8:41 pm

Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re alive!! Yeah, it is difficult and tiring after an attempt like that, so take all the time you need to feel a bit better. No rush! But I’m really glad you’re still alive, I hope the legal troubles will get sorted and that you’ll feel a bit better soon. I truly hope stuff will get better for you, you seem like a cool dude.

TheOpenRoad 5/3/2021 - 3:15 am

Glad you’re ok.

Once 5/2/2021 - 3:59 pm

IdfkAnymore, thank you for putting up this post. I am humbled. Thank you.

Idfk anymore, I'm just here I guess 5/2/2021 - 7:27 pm

Haha man it’s alright. Do your best.

a1957 5/2/2021 - 10:30 pm

@Once I failed my ever so organized attempt too. CO with par+ner. Police got involved. It’s the most incredible thing to go from what seems sure death to… now what?

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