Just need a small bit of relief

I’m in the middle of a class right now. We are going to present today. I don’t feel good at all. I’m not proud of what I’ve done. I’ve never been proud of anything I’ve done. This time is a bit different though. I don’t want to embarrass myself in front of my professor. I want to work under her for my final senior project. It’s a whole thing, but I really admire her. She’s super accomplished, so to fall flat on my face in front of her sucks. I’ve tried so hard for her class, but this one just fell apart. I just needed to get that out of my head for a bit. It was making me feel sick to think about it. I don’t know if it made me feel any better, but before I was writing I was definitely going to throw up. Now I still feel like I’m going to throw up. I’m just no good.