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Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

by rywa


I never thought I would find myself here, yet here I am. I’ve been struggling on and off with suicide since I was 12 or so. I am 38 now.

I’m at a low point and I don’t know what to do. I have no friends and no family and frankly don’t see a purpose in continuing to try.

I have tried just about every permutation and combination of treatments. Yet I can’t find a way to even like myself let alone find a way to feel happy.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow…


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Abnormal.Thoughts 5/2/2021 - 9:12 am

I’m sorry you are feeling this way. I can relate in a lot of ways. I know it’s up and down a lot in life, I suggest just doing something that you usually enjoy, whether it’s fishing, a pedicure, or whatever, give yourself something to focus on for a while that might get your mind off of it.

rywa 5/2/2021 - 10:02 am

Thanks for your thoughts. I try my best every day to find things that might take the pain away, some days are better than others of course.

When you’ve had a lifetime of loneliness it’s hard to find anything to help.

Abnormal.Thoughts 5/2/2021 - 10:59 am

That’s true, and it’s not like it’s a long term solution, more of a distraction. As soon as you are no longer distracted it always comes back. It’s still worth trying to enjoy just a moment, it’s not like we have forever to live.
You also mentioned friends and family, to which I tell you that they can add to the desperation just as often as they can alleviate it, so don’t stress about it and just enjoy the freedom to just focus on yourself.

Yoges 5/2/2021 - 2:16 pm

Just try to keep head above water I guess. That’s what I’m trying. Sure, one slip is all it’ll take but for now I’m trying.
Try feeding some animals and birds on a regular basis, or just watering plants. They’re better than friends and family imo.

rywa 5/2/2021 - 3:50 pm

Thank you for your thoughts. How do you keep trying? I’m so tired of trying. It’s been so long since my life has had any sort of meaning to it. I don’t know how to keep going.

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