That’s what it all comes down to, trust and faith which are different words for the same damn thing. The truth is that I don’t know how to put a positive expectation on another human being. It’s beyond my ability at this point. Oh, you might say, but you appear vulnerable, right? That’s some kind of trust, one would think. The fact is that I don’t care. Curse me, you still can’t do worse than I expect you to. I trust people to be as awful as I can imagine, then when they are less awful it is mildly pleasant.
The fact remains; as I don’t trust anyone to act in my interest, the entire success or failure of my work depends on me, and no one else. I’m the only factor that counts in my world. The fact is, I’m doing a piss poor job of that these days. Not that it matters, it would appear that the society I live in is intent on pulling me down to their paltry pathetic level of low standards.