I thought alcohol was a cure to my social anxiety and at first everything was fine. It felt good. It felt really good. I felt like I could finally socialize normally like a normal person and I was. However it got to a point eventually where it started turning me into something that I wasn’t. I began hurting people without even realizing it. I lost myself. It’s like I wasn’t even me anymore. Everything about me eventually changed. I just drank so much and so consistently. I would wake up every morning and go straight to the corner store and purchase alcohol. I would drink all day everyday. Everything is messed up right now. I did so many bad things. I got a DUI and almost killed someone. I said some terrible things to my mom. I became a complete jerk to some of my coworkers. I hurt everyone I care about.
I feel like a monster. I feel so ashamed. I haven’t felt like crying in so long…. I’ve had enough of this poison. It’s killing me from the inside. I’m gonna make things right. I swear if I keep doing this I will personally end myself. I’d rather die than be a danger to society.
2 comments
I am truly sorry for your pain 🙁
Taking your life would really hurt the people around you, please do not do it.
Please, try a recovery program, there are such for people recovering from alcohol addiction, I think I remember Alcoholics Anonymous. In your city there may be such a program.
The website of Alcoholics Anonymous: https://aa.org/
I send you lots of encouragement, to always keep fighting, and to try to become the best version of you possible. I have no doubt that you are a wonderful person! ^^, It’s alcohol that made problems, yet with persistence and perseverance, it can be solved.
Perhaps this tip can help you: I once heard someone who recovered from drug addiction, say he tries to always keep busy, be it with his garden or anything, so that he doesn’t stay idle. Try keeping yourself always busy with something ^^,