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My appt

by elleInWi

Saw my therapist this mornin. She let me know what my pill lady already diagnosed me as. So my diagnosis is schizoaffective and trichotillomania. Which im not suprised. Ive had trich ever since i was 7 and ive been told i was schizoaffective since i was 18yrsold. She wants to put me back on abilify again as well as some other meds, i wont know til fri. Fingers crossed its not weight gaining type meds.

I told my therapist about the diff types of shadow people that i see. Before then only my mom and Manny knew about my shadow people. So it felt good to get that out there. Told her about the 1 i nicknamed asshole because out of all of em hes the mean 1 who keeps playin tricks on me. He knows i hate spiders so hes the reason i cant sleep at nite. He also likes to yell at me and tell me what to do, sometimes he grabs me and he invades my dreams just to judge me. Maybe these meds will get rid of him.

My angel shadow is my fav, he protects me when i overdose, he motivates me and he has big gold eyes. Hed be the only 1 id worry about losing, he shows up with a purpose unlike the others. 1 guy only shows up just to see that im still here n then leaves. The shadow kids goof around and interect with eachother instead of me. And the invisible woman likes to hang out when im on my phone sometimes.

The shadow kids liked my mom, they used to run circles around her in her chair or hang on her chair and help her with puzzles. Im just glad that my “hallucinations” arent as bad as most people. I know my shadow people arent considered real but i see them, and they affect me regardless. Its weird. Is it strange that i am aware of these things?


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Christina_the_Cat 6/28/2021 - 11:16 pm

Nah, I don’t think it’s weird. Maybe you’re just aware of spiritual realities that few people perceive. They might be spirits/demons or something. I hope the meds will help you. If not, there’s always prayer.

elleInWi 6/29/2021 - 11:07 am

Thats what i was thinkin at 1st but my shadow peeps been around for 20yrs lol ever since my 1st overdose at 14yrsold

heartlessviking 6/30/2021 - 12:01 am

it’s a matter of interest “hallucinations”, I haven’t had one that got me in years, but when I did they looked like normal people, usually used faces that I already knew, with audio hallucinations. Now I also realize I was at the end of a manic spiral.

Personally I detest abilify. I was put on it when they thought all I had was depression, then for depression and anxiety, and finally to control mania from so called manic depression. My personal favorite anti psychotic is Seroquel, makes for good sleep, I haven’t gained any weight on it in the last six months. This time it was to control a nervous tick.

Actually I just went through an unintentional detox, had to go on half dose for a few days because I had to switch pharmacies due to losing my job. I got up yesterday ready to sit at the doctor’s office all day, halfway there I got a notice from the pharmacy that my meds were ready, so it solved before I had to work at it.

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