Saw my therapist this mornin. She let me know what my pill lady already diagnosed me as. So my diagnosis is schizoaffective and trichotillomania. Which im not suprised. Ive had trich ever since i was 7 and ive been told i was schizoaffective since i was 18yrsold. She wants to put me back on abilify again as well as some other meds, i wont know til fri. Fingers crossed its not weight gaining type meds.
I told my therapist about the diff types of shadow people that i see. Before then only my mom and Manny knew about my shadow people. So it felt good to get that out there. Told her about the 1 i nicknamed asshole because out of all of em hes the mean 1 who keeps playin tricks on me. He knows i hate spiders so hes the reason i cant sleep at nite. He also likes to yell at me and tell me what to do, sometimes he grabs me and he invades my dreams just to judge me. Maybe these meds will get rid of him.
My angel shadow is my fav, he protects me when i overdose, he motivates me and he has big gold eyes. Hed be the only 1 id worry about losing, he shows up with a purpose unlike the others. 1 guy only shows up just to see that im still here n then leaves. The shadow kids goof around and interect with eachother instead of me. And the invisible woman likes to hang out when im on my phone sometimes.
The shadow kids liked my mom, they used to run circles around her in her chair or hang on her chair and help her with puzzles. Im just glad that my “hallucinations” arent as bad as most people. I know my shadow people arent considered real but i see them, and they affect me regardless. Its weird. Is it strange that i am aware of these things?