I was raped once by an ex who stalked me vehemently and waited for me outside my uni accom on New Year’s before he raped me thrice.
From that, I got PTSD, mad depression and my Law degree has suffered so badly.
Last week, my Airbnb host potentially spiked my drink and I don’t know if he did anything to me while I blacked out. Had to get a police report and fund my travel to the other end of the next town to even get a Forensics Rape Kit. They can’t help me. I sold my bags to afford the fare.
My uni won’t let me resit one exam and without resitting it, I can’t get a 2:1 Law Degree. This is a death sentence.
Last night, my Narcissistic mom told me she doesn’t care if I go jump off a cliff. My life is in pieces.
I have so much more I want to do; I want to climb more mountains, I want to see my grandparents. I don’t want to hurt them or my sister and father.
But I have to do it. I’m thinking of going to the forest far away (one way trip), a bottle of vodka, some mixers, notes to warn any hikers or families, and a rope. I don’t know if methods can be discussed here.
I don’t know. I just need to tell somebody.