Two more months. I’m not sure what the purpose is in setting arbitrary dates for the future. I told myself I would give the ECT treatment time to work. But honestly I don’t see the point. Maybe I am just procrastinating.
it’s been more than 18 years since I attempted suicide. Back then I didn’t set any sort of dates or things I wanted to do. I made a decision, got what I thought I needed and I attempted. Of course I failed, so maybe taking the extra time to make sure will help.
There’s nothing I want to do or try. Nothing that makes me feel joy. No one to talk to. I’ve done my best but it just has never been good enough.
Two more months.
2 comments
My situation is a little different but I can relate to the no joy and nothing I want to do anymore part. I was married to a BPD/Bipolar woman for 25 years and we have been in each others lives now for almost 30. Divorced for 2 years now but she always comes back into my life. In therapy they call it a trauma bond and I can now see how true that is. So now we have two people that are suicidal but we also have grown children. She has attempted suicide 6 times and me only 3. Usually with drug OD’s. We are so they say lucky to be alive. So now we are contemplating going together this time and Im really struggling with that right now. My now ex gf really tried to help me get away from her but has now failed. So now Im going to see ex today and she is a bigger mess than me right now so its a bad combination but I find peace in it. Im not scared. So now I may not be long for this world either. I look forward to heaven and to leave this hell behind.
Please, may we try to battle with our bad habits as best we can, may we try our best always. That may we acquire an interior peace, in the here and now. A heart on fire, a Loving Heart; that is Heavenly, I think ^^,