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Ugh kids

by elleInWi

My teenage daughter is driving me nuts. Its bad enough i have a tempermental 10yr old autistic son and 1 hyped up 7yrold. But i foolishly assumed my daughter would be the easiest 1 because of how independent she is. Nope, sadly mistaken. Shes in a confused state where she wants to be a guy but says shes a non binary lesbian but then gets offended when people call her my son cuz she looks like a boy. And then she doesnt care about her looks or how much she smells. I gotta demand and yell at her to take a shower n brush her teeth everyday. She complains she has no clothes but she has alot of clothes only thing is she binge eats any time i leave the house and she cant fit her clothes. But she also wont go clothes shopping with me cuz she said it makes her anxious n yet she doesnt want me to pick out her clothes so its like how tf are we gonna do this? Shes unnecessarily complicated. She throws a fit and claims im bullying her when i tell her to put her dirty clothes in the closet hamper. Like seriously if youre throwing a fit about havin to walk across the room then idk what youre gonna do as an adult. Im just beyond overwhelmed with all of my children cuz they all have diff and intense issues that require law enforcement, specialists and therapist help and i also gotta take care of my schizoaffective. Its like the crazy people managing the psych hospital in our house. Seriously depressing when we go out in society and no1 realizes the kind of hell we live in at home. And how i havent taken a vacation by myself in 14yrs and i wont get to til my youngest is 18. I just dont want to die before i get the chance to taste that kinda freedom. The freedom of my kids bein adults and no longer my responsibility and how i can leave the state and spend a weekend in new orleans if i want to and not have to worry about any1 but myself.

Am i an asshole for fantasizing about being alone?

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6 comments

Robert77 7/6/2021 - 11:39 pm

No you aren’t an ahole for being a human. I had to take care of 3 children as a single parent but one of them was supposed to be my wife but she was the worst of them all. I had to take the other children to see her more than once at drug treatment facility’s and she would destroyer her car and our family finances constantly. It was very wearing to take the kids to school, the babysitters and go to work. Babysitter quit and I had to take my son who was 4 years old at the time to work. That didn’t go over so well. I never really got any vacations for about 20 years and now well I just want to die and my kids are grown now and as big a mess as their mother still is. I really hope you find someone decent to help you get thru the rest of your days and be a good mate and father for the kids. Don’t settle for anything less than you deserve and need.

elleInWi 7/7/2021 - 1:07 am

Thanks for assuring me im not an ass lol a man cant save me from my responsibilities. Ive driven men away because im not used to people helping me or wanting to take over. Im an Alpha not a beta. So most men dont like that quality because they want to feel useful and usually alphas are fine being alone. Just need a fwb from time to time lol
So why do you want to die robert? When did thid start? Before wifey or during marriage? And whats so great about her that you torture yourself this much to help her?

Robert77 7/7/2021 - 1:40 am

Im finally done with her but persons with BPD can really wreck havoc on a persons mental state and you end up with ptsd because of it. I was in it too long for my children who are now grown up and my sons is a mess. My daughter is a closet drinker but so far she hides it well. I have what you call a trauma bond and I am getting help but the amount of destruction she caused really messed me up. She keep trying to get back into my life and its been two years after our divorce. We were married 25 years. My therapist advises against ever having anything to do with her again. Along the way I lost my will to live. Im in another relationship right now and Im having difficulties adjusting to it. I hope I can get thru it and we can have a decent life.

elleInWi 7/7/2021 - 5:29 am

You should def focus in on this new relationship now. How is the new lady? Is there chemistry? How did u 2 meet? Does she know you feel suicidal? Is she struggling mentally as well? You should be open n honest with her n see what happens

darkwillow 7/7/2021 - 3:08 am

How long does she go without taking a shower? Or do you always step in before 24 hours can even pass?

I think you’re doing just fine as a parent. You’re very understanding and you’re trying to give your kids solutions to their problems, but they dont seem to want them. Teenagers I guess. It does seem like you really try to see their view and perspectives from this post though. And that makes me happy.

My only thought would be to maybe back off on your daughter temporarily. A part of me wonders if you stop telling her to shower and brush her teeth, it’ll only take her 2 days or so to realize how greasy her hair gets and feel the plaque build up on her teeth. If she doesnt notice these things, her school definitely will. Student definitely talk. If her hair is short though, this wont work as well, and since I dont know your daughter, I dont know if this would affect her at all.

Also, it’s July so no school yet.. I just think that first hand experience is the best teacher. Like telling a kid not to touch the hot pan. Getting burned by it is a much greater teacher than your warnings about it. But yeah, that’s all I could think of

elleInWi 7/7/2021 - 5:25 am

Longest shes gone is 1 1/2wks without a shower. And her last dentist appt she had a cavity on every single tooth and 1 needed a root canal cuz she only brushes her teeth like 3x in 1 month. The school called cps because of her bein the smelly kid. They assumed i couldnt afford shampoo n soap. Also she wears the same hoodie every day, so they assumed she had no tshirts. Ive had to prove to authorities all school yr that i wasnt a dead beat parent. The school social worker felt embarrassed when i proved em all wrong. I have backed off on my daughter but cps and the root canal was the last straw.

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