Sometimes I come around, and watch from afar, all you people who speak up, all these pain and hopelessness. The unheard and not understood people. The ones trying to keep the hope in others. We all been through some rough shit. BUT ! I wonder if you guys realize, how strong you all are.
Most humans on earth have a common life, with small bumps but they just slip over the hardships and never truly stare into the darkness. I believe, the ones here, clinging into that small hope, and still keep to move on, no matter how small or pointless it seems, that you all are the strongest. The ones that feel the most down, yet keep hoping. I could say I envy the ones that can climg to the hope. You are all so strong that you guys still trying to find people that can hear the silent cries, and understand the incomprehensible pain that some of us feel, it’s amazing. Amazing how strong you all are. I hope you all can find some peace of mind. This site had saved more lives than we could count. This place, where we can share the pain, and find people who understand it, it’s truly amazing. Some of us might have the oddest hopes to cling into. Yet we do, and we keep moving on. The greatest strength from the smallest things. I wonder if you all really know, that you guys are the strongest. All of you, all the regular visitors, the regular commenters, the ones coming along by accident or by chance. I say it cause I believe in it. The ones who walks on the edge, yet keeps themselves from falling. The ones who try to pull others back. Most people in everydays never feel this down. Some people done suicide from momentary realization of how down you can feel. Yet the ones, who are here, still hoping to find people to relate to, people to talk to, this place is called the suicide project, yet carries the hope for many of us. All I wanted to say with this is, you guys are the truly strongest ones. The true heroes. Keep it up, no matter how hard it is. Death awaits us all in the end, so no need to hurry it, especially if we have such a community that can understand each other this well.
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I hope I don’t come over wrong, I wish I could be one of those heroes who are trying to give others hope, but how could I, when neither do I have hope. I’m over the edge, it doesn’t matters to me no more. I just keep going on. I really wish I could say some nice words, to cheer up the ones I can feel along with. But I can’t. All I can say is that enduring this needs something most people don’t have. That’s why I was trying to point out to the ones still going on, despite the hardships, such endurance that most people can never achieve. You all are the strongest. From the deepest darkness, that is where the brightest light is born from. So keep up, you all.
Simple posts like this makes you one of the heroes giving others hope. To this day, I still cannot say why I did not fully do it. I was on this site at that time as well. Many years ago. A number of people that were on this site and hopefully still here meant a lot to me. Just reading their posts and comments and simple replies with them. I held onto something I guess in the end. To what and for what……..I certainly still struggle. Others on this site have unfortunately taken their life. There is one friend I will never forget from this site. I even flew out to her to simply be with her while she made her choice. She made me promise I would not physically stop her if she was of a sane mind and made the choice. She was an awesome person. She was very smart. She was at peace with what she wanted to do. I wish she had chose to hold on a little longer. Maybe things would be different. Maybe I should have done something that would have stopped it…..but she knew I would not if I gave my word. Reporting that and dealing with the aftermath was hard. She was one of those among many others here always being a hero and giving the hope others and I myself needed to keep going.
I’m glad to see you’re still among us, and I’m terribly sorry to hear she is gone. There are things we may never know like what if. What is sure is that she was was one hell of a strong person, just like you. It certainly needs a lot of strength to keep such a word, I would not be that strong, and breaking a promise is something I hardly forgive to my self. I hope you’re doing fine, she must be at a better place now. But this I know, the people we love will stay with us even after they leave. They stay with us in our hearts, within our memories.