I could let myself die, and no one would care or notice.

Ah yes, depression. The thing that’s been haunting me all my life, and just gets worse and worse. There were some points where I would get better for a while. But then I would spiral back into that dreadful state. Crashing harder and further each time. Sometimes I wonder, “when am I finally gonna give up?”

Here’s the thing I’ve never told anyone: I want to die. SO badly…..and it pathetic. It feels like a living hell each second I’m alive. And worst part is, nobody really gives a s***t.
My parents, brothers, and even my extended family quickly dismiss my suicidal ideation. I tell them. But that’s about it. They see me withdrawing, not speaking, not eating, and just overall, in distress. Also, I’ve been sick; throwing up and loose bowels for about two weeks now. I can’t keep anything down anymore and don’t even have the energy to help myself. Oh, and yeah…..my family knows.

So I’m just sitting here wondering, “when will it end….”

Y’know I might just die here. Alone in my bed. But I’ll be ok with that.
Maybe I’ll end up dying from dehydration or something. My energy levels and overall well-being is the worst it’s ever been. I’m already fainting from lack of nutrients, and have lost so much weight it’s completely noticeable. If I die, so be it. I literally can’t do this anymore, nor do I care.