During an argument I wasnt home and texting him.
He repeatly said “come home so we can talk”
I said “no. I don’t feel comfortable talking in person. It takes me out of my comfort zone and gives YOU THE ADVANTAGE”
He still insisted on me coming home and refused to talk until otherwise.
You were informed you’d have an emotional advantage over me and you still refused to talk to me.
No…. This isn’t me…. And I’m done with your bullshit. I’m fucking done reading about gas lighting and trauma bonding and feeling like I fit perfectly….
I’m fucking done with you…
21 comments
Good for you. Don’t hang on to negative relationships because it’s easier. People rarely change. If it’s shitty now, it’ll be shitty later.
hes had about 50 million chances to change. if you have to ask if what youre doing is wrong (making like 30 unnecessary sexual comments in a day), then i cant help you. if you cant figure out after being repeatedly told dont do that, then its all on you. im done, ive got someone that’ll treat me right and its not you
we argued about him helping with housework. and his ‘reason’ now, “if i knew your problems were this bad i would have helped”
no asshole! when someone says help, especially a “loved one”, it doesnt matter why or what for. you jump and ask how high.
We argued DURING Christmas.
He ALWAYS had me getting his food for him. We spend Christmas at his mothers. And every year “get me a plate”. So one year i stood up to him “why do i always have to do it”…. But it was christmas and we were guests to HIS mothers…. He gave me a look, i shut up and went to get him a plate.
Me offering is one thing. You not getting up off your ass is another.
I told him i was addicted to weed. He didnt believe me. He said it wasnt possible. I finally get him to come around to believing me. I tell him i want to quit. Just last week, hes getting me a higher percentage of thc (20%-26%) and looking for better deals. Meanwhile im looking for substitutes….
He told me id make new friends….
Its been SEVEN FUCKING YEARS….
You even said yourself that you dont like friends basically…
Thats ok though…..i went and got my old friends back
You knew your dog didnt like women. After he bit me on 2 occasions….you still did nothing….
you….. 🙁
you said that you didnt want me going to therapy because you didnt want me to be put on a bunch of random meds.
so now im smoking weed. the strongest % YOU can get.
i told you i wanted to quit. i told you it wasnt helping.
you know what my friend helped me realized? you know the one i had to go back and get because your promise of getting me friends fell through?
he helped me realize that what youre doing with the weed, is EXACTLY what you didnt want them to do with the meds.
I FUCKING TOLD YOU IT WASNT HELPING. I TOLD YOU I WANTED TO QUIT AND YOURE FUCKING TRYING TO FIND ME THE BEST DEALS IN TOWN!!!!
my friends make me happy. my friends make me laugh.
here….. isnt where i belong…..
i dont even know where to start with moving out because of the situation you put me in :'(
i guess now is when i need to put a lot of trust in my friends…
why does shit have to be difficult? i have to deal with what you did AND bpd (extreme emotions). nothing about this is or has been easy for me, and i have a feeling youre not going to let me leave without another argument….
i just want to sit here and cry…..
(its ok, you wont be alone much longer…..)
This is a hard thing to go through. I am proud of you for seeing what is unworkable with this individual. I read through your comments and his behavior has narcissism. A narcissist takes prisoners, rather than truly build relationships. They can be charming, when it suits them, but you will always be his narcissistic supply. They are virtually untreatable because they see no fault in themselves and experience no discomfort from their disorder other than disgust at all the people they know best. No one wins in a relationship with these disordered people, not even themselves, except with certain trappings of power and image, whatever those things may be to that narcissist.
Sorry you are going through this.
“A narcissist takes prisoners, rather than truly build relationships. They can be charming, when it suits them, but you will always be his narcissistic supply.”
Its funny….. I basically said the same thing to my friends last night. That it feels like he only does things to get what he wants and im what he wants….
Though painful it has been for you, I am glad you know now what kind of disordered individual you are dealing with. I have a friend who spent over twenty years married to a narcissist and he put her through emotional agony. BTW, he was my friend too, or so I thought. Once I understood what he was and what he did (to her face and behind my back) and why he did it, it was considerably painful for me cut off communication with him but that pales in comparison to the pain he put his ex wife through. Agony, just agony.
great post a1957
Thank you Soda.
You’re welcome.
He makes me feel silenced….
When i have a problem i want to complain about (to government/managment/ect) he does talking things to silence me so i dont do it.
But he can!?
I asked him to do something for me A WEEK ago. Literally all he had to do was go in and pick it up. Im even paying for it. I wanted this to be done so when the thing showed up from amazon all id have to do is attach it. But nope. We’re picking it up the day of instead.
Im so tired of his bullshit…….. :”””(
When it comes to situations like this….its always the same thing. And if i bring it up “i forgot”. Sorry i dont want to mention it every single day because then youd be bitching at me for that
And he spends my money… Does it count if its on stuff for me?
Ill send him into the store “can you get me a chocolate bar or some chips?” And he’ll come out with both. “I didnt know what you wanted” well i didnt want to spend that much money thanks for fucking checking with me!!!!!!!
(Just an example. It typically comes out to $5 extra at least, not just a couple. If it was just a dollar or 2 then meh. But when im expecting to spend 5-10$ and i end up spending 15-20$ its a bit annoying especially when i only have $150 to spend every 2 weeks so its kinda easy to go through)
Back when I was with my ex I was working on a painting. He was being a bit apathetic. You pointed out he wasn’t being very supportive of me.
Today I’m cutting something out of felt. Something basic. (it was a cat. Not difficult but a little more then a circle) you said it looked difficult. I didn’t like the look of it so I changed my mind. I’d paint it instead. You said I don’t have the patience for it.
Do you call that encouraging?
And if I bring it up I know what you’ll say.
-difficult
“oh well I meant that it was difficult and you can do it” BULLSHIT!
-patience
“I was just joking”
Yeah well…. I just want you to shut up. I’m tired of hearing it….
He had to go see his son about something. I never met his son before. He knew I had anxiety. I was just going to stay in the vehicle, but nope.
He opens the door saying “this is my wife” and there’s no where’s to hide. What’s worse is he pulled me out of the vehicle forcing me to have a panic attack and hiding behind him.
A fucking douche bag doesn’t even begin to describe him.