Drowning until im gone

I feel like i have been so manic that my head is going to spilt in half. That my chest will burst open. That my legs will break from pacing around so much. That my heart will give out from how much it hurts. I feel like i am losing my mind. And in the middle of it all, i dissociating from my body. Im watching from the sidelines. And i cant do anything about it. No matter how loud i am acreaming at my self TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND JUST BREATHE
BREATHE YOU FUCKING IDIOT
JUST STOP FUCKING MOVING AROUND FOR 2 SECONDS. STOP AND TWLL YOURSELF YOU LOVE YOURSELF. YOU ARE LOVED
But thats all noise im my head
A voice a domt recognize
A voice i have learned to drown out.
While i continue to drowm my present body as well. Until the day i am completely gone