Again for the last time

I had to say goodbye to my cherished companion, my dog, yesterday. I’ve said goodbye to 10 dogs and 6 rabbits. How do I have that power to say it’s over and the drugs are administered and their suffering is over yet I don’t have that for me? Every time the vet appears with the injections why can’t they do the pet first and then me? My suffering is just as intense and arguably much longer.

Sometimes I dream and I dream and I dream and I dream and I dream we’re going to that next world together. But no I’m “ill” for wanting that. But not ill for wanting that for my companion. Humans and their unbounded cruelty.