I live in a country that sees suicide as an act of rebellion . So there are laws to scare people from commiting suicide . One of those laws is that if I am not above the age of 21 . If I commit suicide my close family parents and older siblings will be held accountable for my “mistake” by paying stupidly large sums of fines and me and my parents have to at least be held inside a “psych ward” ( basically a prison ) until I am deemed to be “normal” again . I have been actively trying to commit suicide since I was 11 . I have been in And out psych wards my entire life . Here is my problem now I have been notified a month ago by the police if I try to commit suicide again my dad will go to prison for negligence of a child and treason of the “ethics” of our country and they made him sign papers that basically say I am not in my “full Brain capacity” and that he is 100% accountable for my actions . Now here is the funny part if I live to be 21 and try to commit suicide I will also be charged with treason and will at least get life in prison . But I have a solution whenever I get signed into a psych ward I basically become their liability and all the laws mentioned before about what will happen to my dad will seize to be valid . So I have 4 cyanide pills with me rn I am planning to go to the psych ward today to be signed in and once everyone is asleep at night I will take them and be free from this hell hole .