I am exhausted.

I’m only here, if you want to talk to me here I am. We aren’t allowed to go too deep into methods, but there are some pretty common ones, I don’t know how to find the statistics for your country, these are the ones I found;
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/suicide

Firearm is very common here, but probably less so where you are. There are two kinds of suicide (generally speaking), rapid emotional response and slow planned attempt. As you might guess, people that don’t plan tend to fail more
often.

Let’s talk about failure, because it’s one of my big reasons not for trying at least a few times. Often people who fail end up in worse physical shape, disabled, or otherwise worse off. I advise that you think about it, plan it, and decide from there.

If you want to pull out, I’d look for medical help. Medication can take the edge off and give you time to get through therapy. It’s hard to talk about these things, sure, but compared to the alternative, it’s less awful.

Look at the active influences in your daily life that aggravate your desire to die. Either find a new approach, or find a way to get some distance.

There is help out there, it’s not excessively effective but if you are willing to work through the feelings, they can help keep you alive.

If you feel a desire to die and have access to a method, you can go to someplace that will keep you safe. They’ll help you find other coping mechanisms. I’ve been there, it sucks, but it sucks less than being dead.