My entire life I have been disrespected, treated like shit and been bullied by everyone I met to the point of attempting suicide. Many people told me I am an easy target and I am dumb as fuck and they thoroughly enjoyed putting me down. I have no friends, not a soul in this world who I can call if I am in a fight or a life-death situation. All this is because I am autistic and have no social skills.
Needless to say I hate most people after my great experiences with them. I have also developed cptsd and serious heart issues due to the severe mental traumas people inflicted on me over the years. I have lost most of my hair due to the emotional stress. I don’t think I am gonna live very long like this and don’t know what to do anymore. At this point I have nothing to live for. All that remains in my brain anymore is the looped videos of my past traumas playing in the background. I can’t get a job and the only reason I am alive is because my family feeds me.
There’s some part of me that wishes for revenge but I know I am too dumb to take revenge on anyone successfully, more likely I will just get myself fucked up in a physical altercation or get into very serious legal troubles. Karma is total BS and there’s no God, so I will never get any justice.
So yeah, just posted this to see what other people recommend me in this situation. Logically suicide is the only thing that makes sense at this point but I am still willing to hear other people’s opinions.
If you want to tell me that I am a beta ***** for not standing up for myself more often and letting so many ppl get away with messing with me, no need to comment. I tried it many times but standing up for myself never worked for me like it does for a normal person without autism.