I keep hallucinating that random strangers are telling me that she killed herself. At work i swear i heard her on the intercom sobbing asking one of the managers to call her. Im losing my mind again. I finally have a decent paying job and ive been living somewhat responsibly but im so close to losing it all. It seems noone has time for me other than sending me stupid memes and videos. Its not like im using them as a therapist or anything like that. I try making myself available to hangout and do something but if it doesn’t have anything to do with smoking weed or drinking no one even gives a shit. At my new job everying acts like they cant keep up with me and i feel some sort of resentment because i act all casual about it but they dont understand how hard it is to even get myself showered everyday.