I have nothing to live for anymore. I have cptsd because I was bullied by hundreds of assholes, I can’t get a job because I am autistic, my parents are probably gonna kick me out and I have no skills to survive on my own. I want to keep living because I want to give my 8 year old nephew a better life but I am so useless that I can’t really help him in anyway.
What makes me more suicidal is that all my bullies are successful while I am the biggest loser I know. Karma doesn’t exist. And life isn’t a movie so I can’t get away with taking revenge.
The only reason I haven’t killed myself is because I don’t have access to a painless method. Wish I could get euthanasia or have access to ********.
7 comments
Karma doesn’t exist.
->nope it f*ing doesn’t.
->i was such a good person my whole life and what did i get? nothing but screwed over by ppl. -_-
And life isn’t a movie so I can’t get away with taking revenge.
->I definitely hear you on that lol
it’s nice u want to make ur life for ur nephew better
sorry about your bullies. what year in school are you? on the plus side, once you graduate, u won’t have to see those a**holes anymore
I finished school 10 years ago. Bullying didn’t stop for me in school. It happened in university too and I also get bullied at home.
And there’s no guarantee I won’t see them anymore, if I ever get a job they might turn out to be co workers or even worse, the boss.
what do you mean by “bullied,” like what kind of things do they do to you? and how is it that you’re bullied by everyone?
They did horrible things, they said the worst insults to me openly, made fun of me together, made me cry, yelled at me, humiliated me, pushed me, almost choked me to death, used me to do their homework for them, said nasty things behind my back.. the list goes on. If this isn’t bullying I don’t know what is. And it wasn’t only the students, even a few teachers abused their power to bully me.
I don’t why everyone targeted me, probably because I was the easiest target. I am mentally handicapped and I can’t make friends, don’t know how to get someone in trouble so people just use me as a punching bag or stress reliever because they know there will be no consequences.
I’m sorry this is the case for you. Bullies suck. But your life isn’t over. There is still hope for you. You are alive and that is more than some people can say. I would seek help. I would fight for a better future. I would not let them win. I believe in you. Autistic or not, I hope you make a better life for yourself.
As the saying goes ‘weakness invites aggression.’ My childhood was fairly good, I was happy and outgoing.
By the time I hit my early teens, I knew were I more or less fit in the pecking order. I realized this wasn’t the life I would’ve chose for myself.
Anyways, it made me pretty insecure, because I felt like a loser. Eventually I snapped out of it. I realized that I either need to end my life, or if I intend to keep living then to stand up for myself because nobody else will.
So I became more assertive and sometimes aggressive and people respected me for that.
More importantly, thanks to a good friend who got me into bodybuilding (I used to be a skinny kid), I started going to the gym and got in good shape. As I got taller and stronger, I noticed that people just treat me with a certain kind of respect I never had before.
I think to an extent it was also a bit of fear…but I wasn’t that big…just muscular and fit.
So for you I’d suggest the same….work out and people won’t pick on you, because they know you’d probably kick the crap out of them.
Unless you had some good friends who were strong and would back you up, you’re on your own. You don’t even have to be in shape, just stand up for yourself….but it is better to be fit in case you are pushed into a fight….but most bullies are cowards on the inside and would back down anyways.
Sorry for what you’d gone through, you’re not alone, but if you don’t want to be picked on, then you have to toughen up and push back.