I’ve been coasting for the past few weeks. Just going with the motions. Something is going to catch up to me. My uncle told me the job market is bad and I should stay in school. Hell I heard from some people here that the job market is bad. When is it good? You always here that the economy is bad and the job market is bad. I still dread the idea of staying here. I’ve been coasting, but something is going to catch up. I can’t do this. I’m not good enough. But I’m probably no good out there in the real world either. I’m fucked no matter what I do. Not competent enough to finish my masters. Not competent enough to work a real engineering job. Just plain no good. Worthless. A good for nothing. Failure. I watch a lot of anime but one of my favorites is My Hero Academia. The main character was called worthless and a good for nothing, but really he always does his best and works hard to fulfill his dreams. I’m nothing like that, so watching it is a little bitter sweet. To be taken in by the fantasy that I could be more, and then being brought back to the reality of not having the drive or the guts to actually make it. Such a pity.
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I don’t know what the market is like where you are, but I’ve encountered people locally who don’t even have a degree in engineering doing engineering jobs. They just had to demonstrate math proficiency, and surely to get where you are you can demonstrate math proficiency? I get that the self doubt is crushing
Anime discussion intermission; I’ve been getting really into Assignation Classroom and Cells at Work. Assignation Classroom has the premise that a strange creature takes over a class of drop outs at a prep school, who he has challenged to kill him by the end of the year, or else he’ll blow up the planet. It’s very affirming and fun. It’s interesting to me because I definitely never pushed me that far in school, but now I kind of want to try.
Cells at work takes place inside a human body, where the individual cells are depicted as people. Most of the story follows two characters; one a red blood cell, tasked with delivering nutrients to organs, and a white blood cell tasked with defending the body against infection. I bring it up because the red blood cell struggles with confidence, but in time finds that she brings something important to the table.
Right, so back to actually discussing the situation; why are you locked into these two options Engineering Grad School or Engineering Job Market? I get that you have training, and you don’t want to waste it. The thing is that maybe there’s somewhere else you could apply your skills that would be more fulfilling for you.
Right off hand, I know there’s good pay for cybersecurity and economics grad students, and the private sector has the jobs to back that up. Remember what I said about engineering firms being so desperate they’ll take any one with the math skills? That’s definitely true of cybersecurity. My undergrad is in psychology for pity sake, but I took enough coding classes in my computer science minor to get into a local grad program. I start this fall.