I hate them so much. I know they say they love me but dammit I just want to die. I tried to shoot myself last year but the gun jammed since it was so poorly taken care of. I have a new one and I tried but they locked all the bullets away so I cant just have a quick and nearly painless death. I am so tired. So fucking done. I even tried to write a suicide note, a little letter so they dont blame themselves or anyone else but halfway through I realized that I actually dont care. I dont care what they do or what happens. I just want to be gone. I want everyone to leave me alone so I can sleep in my bed all day or go do some dumb shit out in nature but just leave me the fuck alone and let me rot. bury me in a garbage bin with trash bags and other shit. It is all I am, all I ever will be, and all I can be. It is the epitome of my life: trash.