They drop at 5 pm tomorrow. At least they should. I was thinking about it, and it’s actually hope that makes it hurt. It’s the root cause for anxiety. If you know something bad is going to happen, when it will happen, and the consequences of it happening, you shouldn’t feel anxious. You should feel some sense of peace. You might feel sad about it. Depressed. But not anxious. Not that unique pit feeling in your stomach. And it’s all because of hope. Because I have this small hope that things will turn out better, it makes the future dubious. Uncertain. Thus the anxiety. When you already have expectations for something bad, you learn to accept it eventually. Feel saddened by it, but still accept it. That’s going to be the hard part. Accepting it when it comes. Because it will come. Regardless of the little hope I have.
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I agree hope is a dangerous thing. but so is hopelessness? I equate both to climbing out of a deep well. With hope you can climb higher… and fall harder. Without it you’re just crawling in the muck… but no surprises, no broken bones.
I still leap at any opportunity that comes along. maybe I’ve learned to crave the pain of failure. either way there’s some twisted psychology at work and we can’t trust ourselves. I think the real killer is fear. In any case it sounds like it’s out of your hands for now, so like sitting in an airplane during turbulence ya might as well enjoy the disaster.