I’m always angry with myself

I should be grateful that I have friends and family who care and want what’s best for me.

That they see a version of myself that I’d lost so long ago, and are still trying to point me back in the right direction.

It’s like talking to a wall. No responses, just stares and yeses.

What am I to even do or say? They tend to be right. I’m not doing enough, not trying hard enough. I’m no man, I’m a child.

Stop the victim blaming, and try harder. Go outside more. There is so much you have to do as a grown adult. I know. I know.

I’m just ashamed. Ashamed of myself. I don’t even get mad at anyone for talking to me, I get angry that I’d gotten myself to the point where I can’t even defend myself. What is there to defend? There’s nothing physically wrong, maybe I’m a little crazy but no medical diagnosis.

I should’ve already been moving down my own path. I’ve been stopping myself this whole time. I’m not good with people. I suck at life, that’s for sure.

I don’t even know who I am anymore.