We’re force fed conflicting messages. In one ear there’s “HELP IS AVAILABLE! REACH OUT!” while in the other ear is “YOU HAVE TO WANT TO GET BETTER! GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES!”
In other words, from birth you’re given 2 completely opposite set of instructions. The 1st says you’re supposed to ask for help, while the 2nd says stop whining, you’re on your own.
Instruction set #1 would’ve been nice, but it never worked for me. Every time I reached out for help I was either ignored, ridiculed or outright exploited. So I went with instruction set #2. And aside from me being totally fucked in the head, strategy #2 has worked. If we’re talking about base survival against overwhelming odds, my life story is proof that I can survive better than Robinson Crusoe with his ankle stuck in a bear trap and his arms tied behind his back. No help. I’m still breathing you bastards.
But you know what? Every time I survive an ordeal by myself, every time I solve a problem by myself, every time I fight alone and win, there is no sense of satisfaction or victory. Instead I hate everyone a little more. Like if you break your leg and the doctors are out smoking cigarettes so you have to set the bone yourself, apply a plaster cast, figure out your own rehab, you’ll end up hating the doctors who failed you, right?
Survival strategy 101… If you’re forced to be a self-contained fighting machine with no support, no backup from the herd, you better develop thick armor, like a turtle, spikes like a porcupine, venom like a scorpion, and let nobody get close. That’s how you survive when you’re alone.
One thing is for sure, I’m a fucking piece of work. Things are going to get interesting
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“Survival strategy 101… If you’re forced to be a self-contained fighting machine with no support, no backup from the herd, you better develop thick armor, like a turtle, spikes like a porcupine, venom like a scorpion, and let nobody get close. That’s how you survive when you’re alone.”
–>That’s exactly how I USED to be. I was all alone and did everything on my own, fighting an endless uphill battle, with NO HELP whatsoever from anyone or any organization. Everything was fine until my car accident and I got sick. Once you’re sick, you’re helpless, and you’re pretty fucked after that. THAT is why I’m fucking suicidal. If it were the old me, I’d say “FUCK this Universe” and go about life being this porcupine turtle with the strongest armour. I WAS that fucking person. I want the old me back. But sadly, that armoured bullet-proof me is gone. FML now. 🙁
my advice to you, is to NEVER let that armour down, never let your guard down, and yes, NEVER let anyone get close, bc once you do, the walls protecting you will crumble, as it did me, and you will fall apart and crumble, and never be able to repair that wall and get back the old tough you. That’s exactly what happened to me. I LET someone get close to me (around the same time my car accident was, so it was a double emotional whammy), and the walls sprung a crack, and the crack got bigger and bigger until the wall crumbled and I could no longer protect myself, and am now an emotional wreck.
You know, we sound kinda a lot alike. I know we grew up with different backgrounds (heck, idk your background/childhood), I’m not an artist or artistic, but we are both stubborn as hell and dig in to our heels, that much I’ve gotten from our exchanges lol, but this “cold steel don’t get anyone close and be all the help you need yourself” has been my mantra at the age of 7 when I realized I was all alone and there was NO ONE who would help me.
omfg that never occurred to me… That after a lifetime of building the armor it would crack and then what? Holy shit you’re right, that’s the absolute worst. Because then suddenly you’re forced to look for help after a lifetime of being independent.
I guess it’s bound to happen to everyone, whether it’s a wreck or someone breaking you or just getting old and unable to wipe your own ass, sooner or later it’s going to happen to all of us, we become helpless. And that’s when the isolated, friendless ones like us are totally screwed.
jeez I never planned for that. I mean I always assumed I’d kms before anything like that happened. But it’s coming.
Yeah I feel like we’re a lot alike too, completely fucked with no help. Like NONE. We don’t want to die but life has become unbearable so there aren’t a whole lotta options left
yup, ALL of my problems began once my car accident happened and also i allowed someone to get close to me and my armour fell.
yes, it took a lifetime to build, and it cracked as soon as you “love” someone. and believe me, i have TRIED so damn hard to close up the crack (i broke up with the guy when i realized he was getting to me, and i broke up with him pre-emptively before the tiny crack got bigger), but no, as soon as the crack formed, it was too late.
FML. so i wind up breaking up with him AND the walls crumbled. if i stayed with him at least i’d have him with the walls crumbled, but alas, too late.
“Because then suddenly you’re forced to look for help after a lifetime of being independent.”
–>Exactly, and it’s really hard to do bc 1- you don’t want to and 2- you don’t know how to do it properly after a lifetime of being independent and never needing and never asking for help.
“Yeah I feel like we’re a lot alike too, completely fucked with no help. Like NONE. We don’t want to die but life has become unbearable so there aren’t a whole lotta options left”
–>Right, so what do we do?? I spent my whole childhood trying so damn hard to build a life and get away from all this shit, only to have a car accident leaving me fucked and unable to take care of myself, which then leads to being emotionally and mentally fucked up, so now i am broken in every which way- physically, financially, emotionally, mentally.
–>There’s only 2 choices- to get back up and try yet again (which is easier than it sounds) OR kms. I don’t want to end everything after working so hard to get out from crushing poverty and crushing abuse, but I am knocked back down to it bc of the car accident, so what do I do now? Oh, not to mention I got knocked down by other people who mentally and emotionally abused me after my car accident to control and manipulate me. So I’m damaged and fucked all over.
–>So what do I do? I can’t live with myself and it seems all for nought if I just end it all. But I can’t seem to “fix” my life with no help and with all this shit going on around me (asshole neighbors harassing me every day, etc).
You know, there was this arc in this anime where there was this “Turtle King”- he was a new superior species. It would assimilate any new organism, but it would incorporate only the best parts of each species it devours. It would incorporate into it’s DNA the best parts of each species it devours, the most useful parts. So it became this turtle with thick armor with a scorpion tail. Lol. It’s got armor and stingers. Lovely. Maybe you have watched this anime 😛
that sounds really familiar but I don’t think I’ve seen it. But that’s something I can totally get into. Makes you wonder what the ideal living organism would be… definitely not anything friendly, trusting or selfless. Those are genetic weaknesses fo sho :/
“Makes you wonder what the ideal living organism would be… definitely not anything friendly, trusting or selfless. Those are genetic weaknesses fo sho :/”
–>And THIS is why I failed at human life. Bc I WAS extremely friendly, nice, trusting, selfless, caring, altruistic, valued fairness, justice and truth, all those things. And being those things made me ripe to be taken advantaged of and used and manipulated by assholes. And ofc, turns out, selfish assholes do well in life. -_-
–>And THIS is why life makes me so damn angry and mad.
IRL, there’s the snapping turtle with a spiky tail. google that and you’ll see images.
So it’s an arc within Hunter x Hunter. You can just watch the Meruem Arc without having to watch the whole series (tho I personally liked the series, even if most of these animes were meant for kids).
The Meruem arc actually gets pretty philosophical- it gets pretty deep without most people realizing it (most ppl watch this anime for the fight scenes).
“he became committed to changing human society, viewing the inequality of classes as absolute madness, and was determined to eliminate the system and the concept of inequality from the world. Perhaps most noble of Meruem is his belief of the purpose of power. After spending time with Komugi, he came to believe that power was meant to protect the weak who deserve to live, and it shouldn’t be used to torment the defeated.”
SO…is this guy a “villan”? The line becomes blurry…
https://villains. fandom.com/wiki/Meruem
you might actually like this arc.