I was planning things out the other day ~ where to get the supplies, make sure the bed is covered in something fluid-repellent, figure out how to delay the sending of an email, ensure no first responders are harmed ~ and then I thought, “Shit. You’re 59 and not in great shape. You’ve got a few years left, maybe. It’s almost ridiculous at this point. Just have your heart attack and don’t traumatize your kid and piss off your friends.”
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It’s good to make ‘final preparations’ and take care of the needful rather than to leave a mess for others to clean up.
You can definitely send delayed emails now…just google it.
We can’t discuss any methods here, but have a plan that you know will surely work.
I’m 50 now and have given myself another decade to improve my life. I’ve been through a lot the last few decades with little to show for it.
However, I’ve put myself in a position where I think I can turn my life around and so far things are going in the right direction.
I’m just ‘getting by’ atm, but if my plan works out I should be very successful within the next year or so…assuming no hitch.
So if I do succeed, then I’ll just live out my life normally and maybe live as long as I can…if I develop any serious health issues then I’ll opt for euthanasia which is legal where I am.
If I’m still just scraping by and nothing really improves then like you I’ll opt out of living…by the time I’m 60, if not sooner. I’ll need to come up with a backup plan in case euthanasia won’t be an option for me.
Anyhow whatever you do, think it through carefully…a lot can go wrong, Murphy’s Law. Good luck.
Totally relatable post with respect to the fine planning details of not wanting our demise to inconvenience anyone with trauma, a clean up –or putting someone else’s life in jeopardy.
The revelation at the end at the end made me smile and wish I could send you a friendly hug.
Do you have a grandkid?
Suicide by train is so common in Japan that when someone does it, they send a bill to the family for the cleanup. How ’bout them apples eh? Not only do you find your relative (usually your kid) dead but you get a bill for the cleanup. O_o
I have similar thoughts about not bothering anybody while ending myself.. I never really have the energy to go through with all the details of that tho.. maybe it’s a way I try to make things complicated cause, at the bottom of it all, I still want to live?
I still find it kind of strange, how my brain, or the suicide ideation, works. At the end of it all, if you’re dead, why bother with what comes after? Wanting people to remember you like a nice person, why? Wouldn’t change a thing.
I don’t believe in anything after death so, rationally, it’s completely pointless for me to bother with how people will remember me. If I’d really care about what they think or how they would be affected, wouldn’t it make more sense to just sort my life and be good to these same people I’m trying to protect from my demise?
Anyway, 60 today is pretty young tbh.. my grandfather died at 91, one grandmother at 96 and the second one at 98.
Think I’m a bit like Soda, I am still trying.. not really succeeding but, anyway.
Life sure is hard, for some of us anyway
Be well