It’s like an angel

I got pretty banged up yesterday when it started raining. I was drunk and it started raining last night in the desert. I was hanging out right outside my suburban neighborhood. One moment I’m sitting by cacti and watching the sun go down and then a few hours pass and it’s raining. I found myself in a dumpster looking for something to eat. (I’m broke)

Things are kinda cloudy but all I can remember is that I kept falling off my electric scooter. I remember how much it hurt and how embarrassed I felt falling in front of drivers. Then some lady rolled down her car door window and asked if I was okay. She asked: “You need a ride”. At first I shook my head saying “no”. But then I realized that I had fallen down 4 times now. I changed my mind. I took her up on her offer. I threw my electric scooter into her car and we rode off. I don’t remember much about what I said but I told her it was unwise to pick up strays like me. She said, “oh it’s okay, unless you’re a threat…..Are you?” I immediately responded and told her she had nothing to worry about. I may be crazy but I’m not some freak.

Everything is pretty cloudy about last night. I awoke to bruises and my bed was covered with dried up blood.

I don’t remember how this lady looked but I came to the realization that she had helped me out on more than one occasion. It seems she’s always there when I’m down on my luck. It’s always the same car. Last time I was a good 13 miles away from home and she showed up seemingly outta nowhere. Again, at that time she asked me if I needed a ride. I accepted.

I’m so trash for never repaying here. Some stranger keeps helping me despite how much of a loser I am. I don’t get it. I probably smelled like a wet dog last night. I want to thank her but I haven’t for some reason. It’s probably because I’m typically too drunk to speak a sentence that makes sense. I seem to always have slurred speech when she picks me up.

I woke up and found a Denny’s gift card in my pocket this morning. I didn’t purchase one.

I need to get my life back in order. It’s embarrassing.

She doesn’t seem to mind helping me out. I don’t have like a love interest in her but I do feel like I have a debt to pay. I owe her but I don’t know how I can repay her. I’m at rock bottom. How can someone like me repay anyone.

I’m not so desperate for connection that I actually think she’s an angel but it’s the term I use because that’s what best describes her.  She’s an angel and I’m a screw up who drinks spirits.