Not really a whole lot to say, not much has changed in my head for awhile now. I’m so tired all the time, but I can’t even sleep and it’s kinda fucking me over. I got to go out of the house today with my mom, shopping and to get some food, and I think it was a good thing for me – at least it got me showered and what not. Plus I got to hang with mom for a bit, which I always enjoy doing. It was very dreary today. I’m trying to eat as little as possible. Not 100% sure why, but lately it seems I don’t really need to eat anyway. Feels good to know I can do that again like I once could. Bonus points if I lose a few. More points if being hungry is a good enough distraction. I guess for one thing I could be “proud” of.. or at least satisfied with, is that I’m caught up and will be able to complete this year’s inktober (just a month’s worth of art prompts, to be drawn w ink, obviously) I still like doing art, I just need to push myself a bit more, which is why I like doing it every year, that and challenging me to do different things. But it’s been awhile since I’ve finished the entirety of one. It’s not really important, or a big deal, or… very productive, but I guess it’s something. I’m trying to keep her out of my head. Actually, I’m trying to keep everyone out. Myself out. I realized I’ve kinda isolated myself a bit. Glued to this stupid screen. I’m starting to think I may have an issue… another thing to add to the list of my pathetic character. I’d really just not rather think anymore. I guess nothing really matters. Wish I could help mom more to not be so sad. It breaks my heart really. All I can do is try to make her laugh I guess… and hang with her if she’s willing. It’d just make me feel good if I knew I genuinely helped people whenever I make the effort to do so. I guess that’s selfish in itself. Nothing matters anyway..
