leave it alone

this is my baseline state. no one needs to interfere to regulate it. i’m disappointed. i’ve lost at my own game. i don’t accept it.
the one thing i do value to some extent is fairness. i don’t really dislike society at large, what i dislike is life. i dislike the fact that we are not born equal. i’ve been living my life ignoring my gifts because i don’t particularly like giving out the message that i have more than others, but i guess that is their burden to bear. people need to learn who they are and seek out their own advantage. it’s tiring watching others long for what they cannot have. i’m upset because i keep losing at my own game. i sometimes think my game isn’t interesting enough. i wish my circumstances were different and i wish i didn’t keep losing. i wish to learn from what has occurred and see what is left over for me. i want to protect the sensitivities of my fellow human beings, but i don’t think i can, because we are competing. it’s a very tiring life.