I’m in my 30s, have avoidant personality disorder, no friends, no family. I am literally alone all the time. My inner voice has turned into my father telling me how stupid I am. I’m a bit of perfectionist and often call myself “dumb mother fucker” over small things, like dropping my keys.
I’m in college but I don’t feel challenged. Life has become dull and I can’t stop visualizing quickly ending my life. I have a plan to do just that but make it seem as if I just left without a trace. Of course that takes time. I’ve been single for over tens years and I’m just now realizing just how worthless I really am.
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I’m also avoidant, 30s, alone almost always, though in different circumstances and with other complications. Don’t often see people identify themselves as AvPD here – would be interested to know how it impacts you/how you cope with something like college.
I’m also AvPD too, and almost always alone. Are we really that rare? Even on a depression/suicide website? I’d have assumed there’d be more of us…
Yeah, maybe there are and they just don’t label themselves that way.
probably label themselves with social anxiety..
True, there seems to be a lot of crossover in terms of symptoms.
what are you in college for? Any chance to add some challenge to your coursework? I did my minor in computer science, just for the challenge of it (well, at the time I thought it would be profitable, wrong about that so far.)