Spent my Saturday night curled up in the foetal position, on a couch in the spare room, interrupted by the occasional self-inflicted punch in the head when it got too much. Sleep was elusive. What little sleep I did find was peppered with dreams, such as the one where a train was stopped at a railroad crossing and I decided to sit under the train and wait for it to move. Then, there was the one where I was back at school, only the HR Manager at my work was the Deputy Principal, and she said she was really worried about me. I had to go to class by climbing a ladder and getting through a trap door, only I got stuck in the trap door as I didn’t have the energy or will to extract myself.
The wife knows nothing of this, other than the fact I was quite moody last night.
I had considered sneaking out last night and finally catching the bus. I think that is probably the only way I’ll be able to do it successfully. By the time anyone notices me missing, my car will be several hours away from home and my lifeless body will be slumped inside. I’m not sure when that day will finally come, but it can’t be far now.