Just posting this if anyone decides to care: If there are any caring people left in this world.
For two years i’ve been taking Zoloft for my OCD and depression. January I was put on Lamictal for bipolar disorder. I hate it I just end up throwing up the medicine and the food in my stomach. Some therapists say this is a good thing but for a while my emotions have been fading. All I am able to do is be sad, I used to have very bad anger problems. Lately I cant even stick up for myself I finally decided to drop the medicine. I want my emotions back. With my anger i’ll probably be getting in trouble alot again. I’d rather get in trouble for defending myself then get walked on. I cant wait for this. I miss the feeling of being so angry to sad to having the high feeling I would always get. I need to feel it again, maybe if I feel it it will remind me that I am a person and I am alive still.
12 comments
The emotions faded because psychiatric drugs are neuroleptics which damage the living tissues in the brain’s frontal and temporal lobe…
I know someone who was on an antipsychotic, lost all emotions and will to do anything… They basically then claimed him unable to make decisions for himself and locked him up. Hes out now, but they are trying to lock him up again.
I just cared, I read your posting. Hang in there as long as you can 🙂 I know its easy to say but not do, considering I am in a similar position.
so is it a good idea to get off of it slowly?
Hey Sabrina,
First off, many people care. Everyone here cares and so do I. I have OCD, Bipolar II, and ADHD so I can relate to you on some terms. You say you miss the feeling of being so angry to sad- I can 100% relate to that, but perhaps it’s not something you NEED. I WANT it, but I don’t NEED it because like you said, it’d get me in trouble. I’m not sure what else I can tell you- trying not to be a hypocrite seeing how I can never take my own advice. Just keep in mind that I care a lot about you, and just hang in there. I’m here whenever you need me
-D. Bae
thank you, i just feel like something needs to change for me. i dont know what though
I didn’t like living a synthetic kind of life.
So I said “fuck you, pills.”
I hate being dependent on anything.
I have good days.
I have horrible days.
But I feel.
And I’m learning all my fucking triggers and how to safely deal with them.
I don’t know if I would recommend quitting cold turkey.
Everybody is different.
But I think being pill-less is a possibility.
Does all that make sense?
it does, im just gonna come off slowly
i just want to feel something other than sadness
Feeling sad 24/7 is no way to live.
I’m certain I could attempt provoking emotion out of you?
I could tell you awful jokes.
Or draw you ridiculous pictures.
I don’t know you, but I know what being sad day in and day out feels like.
Yes, it is… But not because of that. It’s because of all the side effects that are caused by starting and/or stopping the meds. Included in that wonderful sneakily hidden list that no doctor mentions to any patient, is “suicidal thoughts”. So basically things are always worse starting and stopping any medication for treatment of depression or anxiety.
Oh, and brain damage is permanent… Once that tissue is gone, its gone for good. Meaning after a long time of heavy medicating, your brain wll shrink to the point where you appear to have worsening condition, so they lock you up in a psych ward.
I know what you mean… I have been feeling sadness now for a good 80-90% of my life…
I’m Bipolar 1 sabrina and I’m currently on an antidepressant (citalopram), lamictal and risperidone, an antipsychotic. I have also gone without meds for long periods. It is true that stopping and starting can result in feeling worse for a while with both physical and mental symptoms (for me it was predominantly fatigue).
I have read books like ‘Toxic Psychiatry’ and other books by a guy called Peter Breggin so I do know the arguments. It is also true that meds can flatten your emotions. It’s a trade off I’ve had to take because the alternative – continuing to experience psychotic highs where I make diastrous choices – is unacceptable to me. I take the medical help because, at age 50, I am desperate to stay ‘well’. Unlike you (if I understand you right), I don’t miss my highs whatsoever. Nor would I want to go out of my way to experience excessive anger as that can be almost as destructive as psychosis.
Everyone has their own path to travel, and it is not ‘wrong’ to take meds or not to take them. Only you can know what is right for you, and if you don’t experience psychosis as a rule then who knows, maybe a med free path is for you.
I can only really say, I hope it works out, and please research online the best way to come off the drugs (slowly is definitely best), and the withdrawal side effects that you may encounter. It’s also best to inform and keep your psychiatrist on board if at all possible.
im bipolar 1 too. not alot of people understand what i mean by the highs. i just really feel like i’d be better off without the medicine.