I don’t even know why I try to hold it together any more. Ive lived most of my life as a loner and a virgin through my teenage years, i only talked to my parents pretty much and now things have changed so much and whatg I thought I wanted I hate. My brain must be fucked up or something, I hate my friends but I need them, I love my girlfriend but I want to die, I wish I had never met her so it wouldn’t be this hard to let go.
I’m a fuckin struggling drug addicted shit piece and it wasn’t even a cool drug, its triple cs for gods sake. I miss it, my oxygen my reason to continue. Nothing could ever make it ok to cry ok to say I want to die ok to say i love you ok to say i need you ok to say please just hold me god damn it ok to really love a person, IT IS everything and now I can’t stop crying but its ok, im alone now. All the people I thought were my friends ratted me out, lied, and just ditched me. Corey if you ever read this one day I loved you man, like a fuckin brother and you just tossed me to the side you dont give a fuckignm fuck about anyone but youyr self do you ??? I will always think of you as the only true friend ive had.
I just think its pathetic that I have everything I always thought I wanted and its nothing, its empty. triple cs at least made me feel warm and hole and loved and open, I wish I had died when I tried the first time. 42 pills and I woke up on the flooor WHY THE FUCK. It was funny, kanye west said it with me that day, the day I die imma touch the sky. What the hell ever.
Please let it end. Im gonna end up doing it
1 comment
The teen years universally suk for everyone. It not too late to start over if that’s what you want. What’s tripple Cs?