For my situation is no perfect medication…

Today I had a conversation with my psychiatrist and my parents about medication. Because only therapy doesn’t work for me, they decided to start with medication despite of the side effects it could have for me. But taking that decision is much easier than searching for the right medication. An antidepressant would take too much risk, because my father is bipolar and they were afraid that I would get stucked in the vicious circle of bipolar. Also other side effects influenced the fact that an antidepressant wasn’t a good option for now. So my psychiatrist went looking for sleep medication. She could only give me Melatonin, but I already have that and it’s not working. Other “real” sleep medication wasn’t either an option, because the high risk that I got addicted to them. The only thing left was something for my concentration. That means that I would get Methylphenidate (MPH or MPD) or better known as Ritalin, Concerta etc. But also that has risk that wouldn’t make it smart to use it at this moment. But using no medication wasn’t either an option. So I should take the risk ans start with the short working version of MPH/MPD called Ritalin. I start with 5 mg, twice a day and I’m under control every week. Tomorrow will be my first day using it, I really hope it will work…