The doctors just gave me the diagnose schizophrenia. Actually I have suffered from it from since I was 12. I am 19 now.
It makes me sad, becourse I know that it will never go away, and I have to take pills for the rest of my life, and the bad periods will still be here to torment me.
I have found a rope, and have managed myself to tie a hangmans knot on it. Now the big step is to step up on the stool, tie the rope to the waterpipe under the ceiling, put the noose around my thin neck, and kick away the stool. This is the hårdest part. Almost every evening I step up, and place the rope around my neck, and stand like this for a long time, and then I get scared of the rest, and step Down Again, crying and with a severe headache.
Some day I will succeed though….I have to.
4 comments
How are you tormented? Do you hear voices?
Hi matilda I’m sadend to hear ur story and can not imagine how u feel but i want to tell u a few things that will hopefully. giv u more perspective first off my uncle has scitzophrenia amoung other tgings and he lives a good life he now has a girlfriend and he fills his life with dance clases sports and so many activities no it has not allways been this way ans he would go on and off meds but for yrs now he has taken them proply and learnt to ignore the voices in his head he is now happy and if u didn’t. no he had it u wouldn’t tell the other thing i want u to consider is the pain u will cause if u choose the easy way out u will ppl with greif anger guilt and unbelievable pain i no this as my partner of 9yrs hung himself. 8 mbt
I would never tell someone I hope they don’t succeed, but in this case I have to. You can’t take away your own life. You’re diagnosed & can get help. You can’t let the disease take over the rest of your life, you’re too important for that.
Months ago(sorry finished early] leaving me and our 6yr old daughter alobe to endure the pain of no longer having the person that was our world. Please hang on give it time and don’t give up and stop trying. you could live a long and happy life u don’t no wats around the corner as long as u keep up themedication u can live a normal life don’t ride urself off.