What’s the point?

All through out my life I’ve been last. No matter what I do, it’s never good enough for anyone. It doesn’t help that I’ll do whatever anyone asks me to do. I can’t say no. I get beat at school, and when I ask why, they always say ” because someone as ugly as you doesn’t deserve to be treated with respect.” I always hear people talking behind my back, mostly about my weight or my looks. All of my “friends” leave me, saying that I’m too boring, or they can’t be seen with me. Everyday I think of ways to die, there isn’t a moment when I’m not thinking about ending this hell. But I know I’m too much of a coward to do it. I really hate myself, my life is just a joke to everyone else? I’m waiting for the day doctors give me even more meds and I overdose. Because pills solve everything! I’ve been taking these pills since I was in 6th grade. I just want to dissapear and never come back. I don’t want there to be an afterlife or anything. I just want to leave. I’ll never be first choice. I’ll never be accepted as a human being. People tell me “everything happens for a reason.” What’s the reason for these things to happen to me? “But its not like you’ve been raped or have cancer.” I hate when people say that. Just because I’ve never experienced those things doesn’t make me hate my life any less. If I was raped or if I have cancer only then I can want to die. Fuck you. Fuck this hell we call “society”. I just hope when I die, that the world will be a better place like everyone told me it would be.