Smile.

Do me a favor. Right now, wherever you are, get up, look in a mirror, a window reflection, even a spoon would work! Just take a look at yourself. I don’t care if you’re about to drop from the rope, ready to fall asleep after you downed hundreds of whatever pill, or if you’re just sitting in bed silently killing yourself. Get up, look at yourself and smile. Ask yourself, do you remember them? Do you remember happy? Sometimes, I don’t. Sometimes, I look at the stranger staring back at me and say “How do you know me?”

Tonight, I didn’t know the stranger. But the stranger was laughing at me. Grinning with a malicious intent. You might say I “cracked” if you were sane. I reached for the pills, so many different pills. Some are just boring pills, things for headaches and such. Others are prescribed, for focusing, or for your liver. I dumper probably twelve bottles in front of me. And for the first time in years, I saw a rainbow. And I smiled. I probably had more than 200 pills by now, there’s only 2 left. One pink, one green and black. Let’s eat the pink first. The green one looks like poison, it’ll be a good last one. If I wake up, I’ll be able to say “I attempted suicide by OD” if I don’t, I’ll be able to watch friends and family cry in shock, anger and frustration as they stare at a cold, dead body that is now “me”. Good night, I hope my next life will turn out better.