I get lost in my mind

I am a over thinker
Usually at night all of my problems run to my head and hit me like a freight train
I can’t do anything about it because everyone is asleep
I can’t cry because they will hear me
I can’t scream either
Literally all I can do is lay there all numb bottling up my thoughts
Later it leads to me over thinking things that arn’t even true
That my mind is just making up
And I’m believing it
I start to get fusturated, mad, sad, wanting to hurt someone
But instead I hurt myself
I grab the sharp edge and press it against my coarse skin
Soon the blood starts coming
And the pain goes away
Then it leads to regret
Why did I do it again?!
I was suppose to quit!
I’m so stupid.
Then the cycle repeats.