I’m Getting Worse.

It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m actually getting worse. I’m beginning to hate everything even more than I already do. It’s a good thing I haven’t cut myself in over a month.
I’m so tired of faking the same smile everyday and pretending to be happy when I’m not. I have a fucking brain tumor. Why can’t I manage to be happy? Whenever I begin to feel better something bad happens and ruins it. Tonight I thought about killing myself for the first time in weeks.
If I ended it all, no one would care.. my family would be happy a load was lifted off their shoulders. Why am I still here? The people I once called friends laugh at me, pass notes about me, and talk shit about me when I’m right next to them. I act like things don’t bother me and like I’m okay when really I’m probably the most unhappy person alive. Fml.