I just spent the night at my guy friends house along with a couple of other so-so friends. It took me all night to realize that he was just as dark and alone as I was. He has been depressed for almost as long as I have. That’s a really long time. He carries the weight of everything on his shoulders. He’s constantly pressured and yelled at by everyone. That explains why he always looked so pissed in the hallways whenever I saw him. I can’t wait to see him on Tuesday (no school Monday) and see more of his point of view. I finally […]
I won’t say my name but this is my story :
im 18 years old and ive always been uncertain of where my life’s going to take me .i never was the smartest in school and I wished there was around it .ive struggled all through out Â my high school years.Anyways I’m approaching my seÃ±or year Â and my girlfriend just left me .the thing is is that Â right around when I met her last year I was in a dark time .i rarely came to school until I met her .i felt as if a weight had finally been lifted off my shoulders like I saw […]
Every day I wake up thinking that this day will better than the last, but it doesn’t work that way. Every day is the same crap. Hoping that someone will hire me, but it doesn’t work like that in today’s world. You have to wait and wait and wait hoping for someone to hire when you know they won’t. I have always wondered why interviewers want a hand shake after an interview. They always say they will give a call when they really don’t. To me right there, that is backstabbing. They always act so happy to see you, but never call if you have […]
She got up and grabbed her things. Escaped to some empty common room, opened her laptop, and methodically pulled that hairband against her wrist.
“Haha you know you shouldn’t do that, it could hurt haha,” some guy says, nodding at her wrist. She smiles up to him and nods slightly. He moves away and she goes back to snapping the hairband. She holds back tears and swallows deeply. She turns on her laptop and reads sad stories, all the while tugging at that damn hairband. People wander past, but none even glance her way. She is alone, lost, forgotten. Her phone buzzes, waking her up from […]
Well… I don’t know… I have three older brothers my first brother is 15 years older than me so I pretty much grew up without him, my second oldest brother is 12 years older hes nice sometimes but it seems like he’s always obsessing over me.. He calls me baby and says he loves me and gives me hugs and kisses most of the time forcefully and smacks my butt and I scream at him to stop and my youngest brother is 5 years older than me… He’s my closest brother.. It was so hard for me when he left for college.. I didn’t know […]
So how many of you have gotten hate mail before? I bet a lot of you have and, let me tell you now, it isn’t fun right?
Honestly, I like getting hate mail because it shows how many judgmental sons of bitches are in this goddamn world. I’ve been told that my scars from self-harm/cutting were FAKE.
Seriously?! Do my fucking scars really look fake? What do I do, spend hours in front of the mirror drawing every single scar on my wrist, stomach, chest, shoulders, arms, thighs, legs, and ankles? I spend ten hours making sure each scar is there and then I cover it up […]
My name is Richelle. I am 13 years old, living in Sydney, Australia. This is my first post. The start of my depression began, in my opinion, around the age of 8. I had no friends, so I talked to the school counselor, Wendy, whenever I could. We played Go Fish or Snap and talked all lunch. She was my best friend, and I thought she was so beautiful. I wanted to be like her when I grew up.
The day before my 9th birthday was my last day with her. She said even tho the next day was her day off, she’d come anyway so […]
My boyfriend talks a lot of shit about my mom. I hate it. Yeah sometimes I’ll complain when she doesn’t let me go do something, but I get over it. I love my mom more than anything, I probably would’ve killed myself that time I was about to attempt it, but then I remembered my mom. My mom is everything to me, and I hate the fact that my boyfriend talks so much shit about her. I’ve told him to stop but he doesn’t. I don’t think it’s okay for him to do that. I tell him that if I wanted his opinion I would’ve […]
There’s this dumpster that I like the looks of. The place is closed on weekends and it’s next to a wooded area. It’s one of those small dumpsters the front loading garbage trucks lift with forks and “throw over their shoulders” to dump empty upside-down. I was thinking that if I hopped into the dumpster and killed myself then no one would need to be upset about finding my carcass.
I seen people toss garbage in there they always toss it over the side and don’t seem to look inside. Plus I figure that if I bring black garbage bags […]
I have lost the will to live it takes alot to make me smile and hardly anything to upset me. I have no energy anymore have lost intrest in my favirote things. I first started starveing myself around age 16 because i always felt fat, ugly and stupid comared to everyone eles. Ill go a couple days without eating then give in and consume a sick amount of food only to feel horrible afterwards. Food is an enemy i regret every meal i eat.
Self hatred has caused me to cut myself which turned into an everyday vice. Iv developed a blood lust waiting and […]
Hey, I’m new here. I wrote in my profile about my situation. I’m partially paralyzed from a spinal cord fracture due to a bicycle accident.
I went from being a buf, muscled and toned gym rat to having shriveled arms hanging from bony shoulders, walking like I’m drunk and
needng help with everything, dresing, showering, toilet, etc. I don’t want to live this way any more.
I’ve worked hard in phys therapy and exercise to try to regain my abilities, but it’s closing in on 18 months, and
that’s when spinal cord injuries stop healing. So I’m pretty much stuck the way I am for […]
Why is it now that I am faced with my past and what I have done? Why couldn’t it have happened earlier or later? I was already in a state of some sort of depression, and now this? I don’t understand, and I am now carrying the famous ‘ball and chain’ my father has spoken of many times in the past. I have set my goals and made plans, but I thought that’s all there was to it, besides the occasional struggle (people judging you, speaking against you, blah blah blah). I thought that people around me would be my struggle on the path to […]
Wow, the last time I was here was a year ago..
& haven’t things got rough!
I was doing so well, I moved to London, started university and fell ridiculously depressed.
I relapsed again and again
I don’t think in control with myself anymore, my head is all over the place and my body is suffering. My bones are becoming weaker and weaker and I can’t cope. I almost broke my ankle recently and because of this my University won’t pass me for my first year because of the time off. I’ve been having tests upon tests to see whether I have a serious illness, they want to […]
It’s been a while since I’ve posted and I’m actually getting worse. I’m beginning to hate everything even more than I already do. It’s a good thing I haven’t cut myself in over a month.
I’m so tired of faking the same smile everyday and pretending to be happy when I’m not. I have a fucking brain tumor. Why can’t I manage to be happy? Whenever I begin to feel better something bad happens and ruins it. Tonight I thought about killing myself for the first time in weeks.
If I ended it all, no one would care.. my family would be happy a load […]
When I was born my mother abandoned my father & I. She put me up for adoption because she claimed that she cheated on my father & that I wasn’t his. So she gave me to this family & my dad got blood tests & proved that I was his & he took me back. So 5 years later my mother came back into my life & all I said was “You won’t play with me, you’re just like all of daddies other girlfriends” & she walked out of course I was too young to realize it but I still carry guilt over my shoulders […]
Have you ever woke up, and was to sick to even think about getting out of bed? And by sick I don’t mean physically sick, I mean like emotionally sickened. Have you ever woke up and questioned your own existence? I just feel so selfish to even have these thoughts. I have everything I need and more. How come I’m not happy? I don’t even feel like being here anymore. This place just isn’t for me.
Â I’ve tried to explain these feelings to someone before but it doesn’t really help. They usually just say “oh I’m sorry, I understand, I’m going through stuff too.” So then […]
Let me say first that though my life has been very hard for a woman that has only lived in this world for 24 years, I have been blessed with two beautiful children. Even though I have these angels with me everyday I still find myself locked in my closet uncontrollable crying with something in my head telling me my family would be better off without me. What role do I play in this world that I deserve to live. Let me start from the beginning of my life…. I was born into a abusive family where I witnessed my father beat my mother and […]
Today, i cut for the first time. The funny thing is, there wasnt a big traumatic event to trigger it. I just felt really stressed out and helpless so i decided to cut. I dont know how i feel about it. All i know is that it felt good afterwards, like a weight was lifted up from my shoulders. I know its bad to cut but i guess i felt like there was no other options for me.
He was beautiful in every single way, the way he looked at me with his big brown eyes, and how I knew everything he was going to say before he said it. Everything was nonsense it was like life was no longer real and I was living a fairy tale. It wasnâ€™t until I met him that I knew, your life changes in every way when you meet the right person. He was the right person because when I was with him nothing else in this world mattered, the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders and I couldnâ€™t help but to fall […]
I promised I wouldn’t do ‘crazy shit’ to my psychiatrist, but I just can’t hold it anymore. I don’t live my life for me, I live it for them.
But fact is; they don’t care if I’m here, there or gone. My councilor at school is totally lost with me, he doenst know what to do with me, the kids at school ( yeah, they’re kids. freaking childish barbiedolls. I’m turning 19 in less then a month and my class is full with 16 y/o barbies :l ) don’t see me. I will give my parents, my family, my friends rest. My parents will have so […]