All my life, I’ve been utter crap.
I’ve been treated like crap in grade school for reasons I don’t even know. Then in middle school. About high school time, I started to think bad thoughts. I had held on for so long, kept myself strong for as long as I could, but I couldn’t fucking do it. My mom was killing herself by working to feed my brother, my sisters, and me. I got a job and worked most of the day after school to help, along with studying half the night. That resulted in me getting insomnia and sleeping problems, which led to anxiety and lots of fatigue.
Then there’s college. Bottom line – things got too hard, I was left alone for too long, the person I loved didn’t seem to love me back the same way, I got sick. I got sick of feeling pathetic and like utter crap. I took an overdose, the only thing I’ve ever done to myself other than mental torture, but I still survived.
I just want relief. I want to stop feeling so miserable, and I’ve tried so hard, but all I want to do is die.
1 comment
Sounds like you have way too much pressure for one person. I hope you can give yourself a break for a few weeks, don’t work, don’t beat yourself up, just rest for a little while. You sound exhausted